Run for Free?

I've heard it, you probably have too: "Running is free". Yes, if you run naked and barefoot.

But most of us need clothes and footwear, at least. What do you have to buy? What do you actually need? What can you get for free or for cheap, and what should you spend your hard-earned cash on?

Here are some smart shopping tips for runners, coming at you from the frigid north, so these are winter tips … summer tips coming later! Much later! Here is a good info graphic about what to wear in different winter temperatures:

Shoes are the most important things you will have to buy. Of course, they are one of the most controversial. The running shoe industry is a billion dollar industry that has a healthy growth every year. This is not just because more people are running (which they are, especially women), but because our ideas of formal wear and fashion have changed so it is now perfectly acceptable to wear leggings and trainers to work.

In the running world, we started wearing specialized shoes about fifty years ago, when a crazy coach made a pair of shoes using a waffle iron to meld the soles into a half-decent shape. That coach went on to found Nike, which is now a gazillion dollar-a-year company. Now there are tens of thousands of models to choose from, and the big controversy revolves around minimalist or barefoot shoes, and those with more support.

In 2004, Vibram came out with the VibramFiveFingers. The theory was that wearing these shoes would reduce injuries and increase performance. The shoes feel like you’re running barefoot, and they keep your toes apart. I wore them for a few years and I loved them!

Then I went to a slightly more closed shoe, but still minimal. The research actually shows that it’s probably better to wear shoes (see this Runner’s World article), but in 2009, a book came out that appealed to those runners who wanted to get “back to our roots”.

Born to Run really appealed to me too. I loved it!

The reality is that you have to find a shoe that suits your foot, your body and your running style. Go to a good running store or an outdoors store and try on a bunch of shoes, or if you have a store in your area with a treadmill and an expert, get them to check your gait and make suggestions.

You don’t have to pick the most expensive model! But you do have to buy new shoes and spend time on choosing the best ones for your feet and for your body and soul. I have a pair of Fivefingers, that I love. I have two pairs of Merrell barefoot. One has a hole in it, so I just wear it to work. One pair I bought to replace them but they’re not the same model, so not as comfortable. I run in Sayonara Wave but it’s winter now and my feet are getting super cold. Maybe time for a pair of winter running shoes? 

If you’re running on icy or icy snow, you may want to invest in some traction. I had a look at the reviews and these seem to be the best: Kahtoola. These are also a little pricy, but worth it if it will keep you from falling and breaking a bone! You can just strap these on to your regular shoes, so you  your feet won’t have to adjust too much every season change.

Traction Update: All you have to do is pick an older pair of your shoes, a pair of favourites that are still comfortable. Then you're going to go and buy some sheet metal screws with hex heads (from 1/2 to 3/8 inch are optimum). Here is the screw shoe recipe:

Screw Shoes!

I've been wearing these for a few years now and they're perfect!

Socks

must be worn with shoes or your feet will hate you, unless you’re wearing Vibram Fivefingers. You have to spend a little money on decent running socks: merino wool socks are the best, but two pairs of socks are fine and you don’t have to get $50 socks with inlaid silver. I have two pairs of merino wool socks, because I run in cold weather, and a couple of pairs of cotton socks and I’m good and my feet love me, more or less. Injinji are five fingered socks that people either love or hate: I love them! I have a winter pair with five fingered base layer and a woollen over layer. The best!!

Lower Body

means everything below your waist, down to your socks.

You want to keep your muscles covered and warm, but not too warm. In warmer weather, I love to run in a running skirt, so I just have one garment to pull off and on during that frantic pee break at a race. It has soft briefs/shorts underneath and the skirt over top. In cooler weather I have running capris, not skin tight, and in the cold I wear leggings AND a pair of running pants. Or you can wear winter running leggings with a warm pair of shorts over top. You can get all this gear used! I go to Value Village, or you can scour the online garage sales or go to real ones. Okay, maybe you don’t want used leggings, but everything else is WAY cheaper used, and its never used that much, because whoever bought it got tired of running and gave it away. I’ve bought hundreds of dollars worth of running gear for 10% of the price. Also, check out online trading sites in your area. They are a great way to get rid of stuff you no longer need, and pick up stuff you do need, all without exchanging money.

Upper Body is basically, torso above the waist. What to wear? Short-sleeved, long-sleeved, fleecy, my gram’s old cotton T-shirt? What you want is a reasonable quality short-sleeved running shirt over your undershirt or bra. Wicking is the key word here. It means that the fabric doesn’t trap water, so when you sweat it will allow the moisture to move away from your body and into the air space between the under layer of clothing and the next one. Your two options to achieve this are either synthetics, which simply allow the moisture to pass through, or merino wool, which will absorb the excess water and keep you warm and dry. It is nice if this layer can be snug, as it will help with removing the sweat from your bod, and make you feel cozy. 

Over that, you will want a mid-layer that can be a fleecy or a synthetic long-sleeved shirt or thin jacket. If its really cold, you can put a fleecy vest over those two layers. These layers can be picked up gently used at your local thrift store, or at online or real garage sales. Also, check for clearance sales at outdoor stores. 

Outerwear You won’t usually need to wear a jacket over your running wear unless 1. it is raining or 2. it is very cold (below -10 Celsius or 10 Fahrenheit). If it’s raining, obviously you need a waterproof jacket. A light cool rain is lovely to run in, and a waterproof jacket makes you sweat so you have to decide whether to bother with a rain jacket, depending on how cold it is, how rainy it is and where you are running. I got my running rain jacket from an online trading site. I traded a pair of heeled shoes that didn’t agree with my Plantar’s fasciitis, and got a great bright red jacket!

If it’s super cold out, you don’t want a waterproof jacket; you will need something breathable so your sweat doesn’t get trapped inside, which will cool you down. If you are running through the winter in a very cold climate, this may be another expensive item for your shopping list.

Underwear Yes, you have to buy underwear.

I may be thrifty but I draw the line at wearing someone else’s undies. Top underwear for men is insignificant. I imagine you guys might want to wear a thermal/wicking undershirt or T-shirt under your base layer. If you have chafing issues, make sure you get your undershirt in a fabric that will be kind to your nipples. Women, you already know the importance of a good running bra. Go and try on a bunch of different bras, read up on them; don’t settle for anything that isn’t super comfortable and gives you the support you need. I’m lucky, being less endowed in the bosom area, so I usually wear a tight-fitting tank top under my base layer and I’m happy with it. In the summer, though, I like more support just so I don’t feel like people are staring at my small breasts bobbing around.

A big fuss is made of the importance of insulated underwear for men during the colder months. Apparently there is some danger of freezing your junk off. So make sure you get one of the apparently hundreds, if not thousands, of varieties of insulated boxers if you plan on running outside in cold weather.

However, us women also freeze our butts off in the cold, because the glutes don’t have that much insulating fat. I’ve gone on runs in very cold weather and been toasty warm everywhere else, but felt like I had actual frostbite on my butt. The danger is, you can also put yourself at risk for a bladder infection if you’re so inclined. Not to mention those cold glutes will affect your running form and may leave you with sore hips.

What to do? I find even with leggings I have this problem, and many women I talk to agree. So we’re looking at finding, buying or making women’s insulated boxers. There are a few (very few!) brands of merino women’s boxer briefs: Valhalla, Norrona, Helly Hansens. They start at around $50. If you don’t have that much, or don’t want to spend that much on undies, you could either get your Aunt Gertrude to knit you a pair, or try cutting a pair of woollen tights at the knee and see if they work. Remember to go commando whenever you can. If you’re wearing leggings and pants, or shorts over top, you don’t need panties as well. The less extra padding you have the better, unless you are wearing it for insulation. ps. I got a pair of Helly Hansen Women's Boxer Briefs, and they are kind of bun huggers. I was wanting something that would keep my bum warm, and they stop just short of being thongs.

Accessories

There are three important accessories that you will need if you’re running in cold weather. You need a hat. It should cover your ears. There are so many hats that just cover the top of your head, and they’re fine if you’re just running for the bus, but if you’re outside doing a two-hour run, your ears need to be covered. Again, you don’t need to buy a hat. You will probably pick one up at a fall or winter race, or at a thrift store, or on the bus (kidding!). Or you’ll get one as a gift.A neck warmer is SUPER important for cold weather runs. I have a tube neckwarmer. This is a tube made of thin material, and you can wear it around your neck, or bring it over part of your head, or completely over nose and mouth when its very cold. I bought mine at an outdoor store, and I got another two at different races. 

Gloves! I wear fingerless gloves when it’s not too cold out. A little colder, I wear very thin under-gloves with my fingerless gloves over top. The other day it was minus 14 C, that’s around 9 F. I wore thin gloves with mitts over top. My hands were warm enough but I spent some time during the run with my hands balled up in my mitts. All my gloves and mitts I have gotten as gifts.

Read any running magazine and you will be bombarded by advice about this and that extra thing you could use to make your run faster, more fun, more productive, and you get the picture. I am lucky enough to have gotten running watch as a gift for my 60^th birthday (you may not have to wait so long!). Mine is a Tomtom, the basic model (no heart monitor attached), and I was very happy with it.

Watch Update: My Tomtom died and they stopped making watches so I got on the Garmin train. I have an Instinct. Very durable, reasonably easy to use, gives me everything I need (and more, but I find it pretty easy to configure out the useless stuff. No, I do not want to be notified when I receive a text...)

Extras

I also use my phone a lot when I run. I have the Runkeeper app. When I choose to, which is for about 2/3 of all my runs, I can set it to let me know my pace at various intervals. I also love to listen to music when I’m running. I only put in one earphone, so I can hear oncoming traffic or dogs or whatever, but I find music is inspiring, helps me run faster, and keeps me in the zone. I know there are purists out there who never listen to music, and that’s fine too. I love to leave my music at home sometimes and run just listening to what’s around me, especially when I’m trail running. Remember, though, these are extras! You don’t need them!And obviously if I’m running with my buddies I won’t be plugged in But mostly, if I’m in the city, I run on my own and I’m listening to my favorite upbeat songs.

Skin care is very important when you’re running outside. I always wear a high-quality sunscreen. It is expensive, but I need it. You have to find one that suits your skin, and it has to stay on through sweating. You’re going to sweat even in the winter, and I always sweat, my eyes tear up, and my nose runs during the winter. So my face can get wet and chafed from the neck warmer if I am running in very cold weather. Wear a good sunscreen AND a good moisturizer, and lip balm. If you’re winter running and wearing your neck warmer over your mouth and nose, don’t bother with lipstick. I usually like a nice fresh lipstick for a summer run, but you don’t want to get it all over the inside of your neck warmer, and then all over your face, so stick to lip balm.

Foot care is also important, so treat yourself to a pedi every once in a while, but a good old foot soak (try bath oil and a couple of drops of cypress essential oil) in the evening while your relaxing can do wonders!

Races can break the bank! Have a look at your budget, at the beginning of your racing year. This could be in January, or when your school year starts, or any time when you can look ahead at 12 months. Decide what races, if any, you would like to go for in the coming year. Then prioritize. Which race (or distance) is the most important? Can you race somewhere else and turn it into a vacation? Are you attracted to one race over another? Do you like the thought of a big race with tens of thousands of participants, lots of bling, and a big party? These are usually presented by big for-profit companies. Or do you like the idea of running to support a charity. Either way, unless you run purely for your own pleasure, you are likely to spend anywhere from $35 to thousands of dollars (if you’ve decided that a destination marathon is living your dream). Most of us mortals, however, will spend about $70-100 for a big race every year and then about $100 altogether for a few smaller runs. If you have a gimmick to sell or lots of contacts in high places you may be able to get a sponsorship for your race. That would be amazing!

Gym membership fees are not absolutely necessary for a runner, after all, that’s why we’re runners right? Because we love to run outside! A few reasons for a runner to join a gym: if you’re training for a race, strength training and cross training are important elements of your program, although this opinion is also controversial (have a look at this argument in Runner’sWorld)

I am a gym member because there are days when it’s just too cold, too blizzard or too icy for me to run outside. Also, I love going to a yoga class every week, and I like to take in a spinning class or use the weights … you get the picture. I’m lucky – I am a member of an amazing gym, and I’m over sixty, so I pay under $60 (that’s Canadian dollars!) a month. Shop around for a gym that suits you; most of them offer a free week so you can get a sense of what it’s like. If you really don’t want or need to join a gym, that’s great! Put that extra money towards healthy food to fuel your runs!

Food is always useful. If you’re running a lot of miles you will need to eat more, and your food choices need to be right for your body. Don’t go vegan if you are always craving meat. Don’t eat lots of meat if you don’t want to. Every body needs its own sources of protein. You need healthy sources of fat, vitamins, and minerals, and you need to base your diet on healthy carbs. Reduce added sugar to under an ounce a day Look at what you’re eating and drinking – I indulge in a gin and tonic on a Friday evening – a tin of tonic water has 38 grams of sugar! I don’t eat much sugar the rest of the week, but I’m not sure I want to use my quota on a canned drink!

Do you need protein powder?

Because I worked as a midwife for many years, and I was assisting women through the time in a woman’s life when her nutritional needs skyrocket, I do know that most people in the affluent world eat too much protein. That said, athletes, even amateurs like you or me, need protein to repair those muscles we are building every time we work out. So it’s a good idea to have a protein shake within about a half hour after a long run, if you are so inclined. A scoop of most protein powders will give you 25-30 grams of protein. That’s a lot for your body to process, and can be from animal or veggie sources. But it’s helpful, if you can afford it. Those big tubs of protein powder are costly, and if you can’t afford them, then you need to be creative about your grocery shopping and make sure you get a good protein snack after a long run. Basically, any workout where your muscles feel sore means that you have very slightly injured those muscles. Rebuilding them is the process the body is going through to build stronger muscles that will endure more. And you need protein for your building blocks.

So, do we need to spend a lot of money on our running passion?

Here’s a breakdown, per year. For the upper limit I have only gone to a modest limit – of course, if you’re independently wealthy, the sky’s the limit! All figures in Canadian dollars.

Shoes                                                                 $70-200

Socks                                                                   $15-50

Lower Body                                                         $20-40

Upper Body                                                         $20-40

Outerwear                                                          $20-150

Underwear                                                           $10-80

Accessories                                                          $0-25

Extras                                                                  $0-200

Races                                                                   $0-200

Gym membership fees                                     $0-1200

TOTAL                                                           $155-2,185

So, it looks like you can either run naked or spend the very minimum of around $150 a year on your favorite sport. Looking good to me!

While we’re on the subject of money, let’s take a peek at some other places you can put your money, now that you’re buying your running clothing at the thrift store.

http://www.freetorun.org/

https://www.girlsontherun.org/

https://yayagirls.wordpress.com/

http://www.girlsgottarun.org/

These are just a few of the organizations that are using running as a way to open new avenues for women and girls living in dangerous or difficult situations around the globe.

I’d love to hear how you’ve found ways to run for cheap, and please let me know about other interesting charities that are supporting young runners! Stay healthy and keep moving!

Travel Guide for Lady Runners

Well of course you bring all your running gear: shoes, road or trail, 2 pairs of socks, running shorts or skirt, leggings, rain jacket, buff (maybe 2), hankie, 2 t-shirts, hydration belt or vest, headlamp, sun visor, watch ... and y'all have special little running items you might bring. Of course if you're travelling to colder climes for some icy trail running then you'll need extra pants, gloves, hat and a winter jacket. 

The problem is, what else can you stuff in your carry-on after you've packed all your running essentials?

Just recently, I visited Los Angeles to see my baby grandson, my son and his wife. I got my running stuff safely stowed away in my carry-on. Ok. Then what? Forget bringing presents for everyone. I'm going away for ten days, but it's still ten days of clothing.

What's the best carry-on?

*duffle

*suitcase

*backpack 

All three of these bags can have wheels, which makes them more convenient.

Remember that most airlines allow another bag too, so I don't like the backpack option for my carry-on, since I use the biggest backpack I have for my extra bag. And a duffle can be heavy to carry if you're wandering around an airport. So my conclusion is a small wheelie suitcase is actually the best, or a backpack with wheels if you like carrying heavy bags on your bag. I've tried all three. Last summer I walked through Florence with my carry-on backpack on my back and my small backpack in my hand. It was hot! A few years ago I tied a rope around my too-heavy duffel bag and dragged it through the airport like a dog. Then again, try wheeling a wheelie up a gravel road.

So, it's important to figure out where you'll be spending time moving your bag from one place to the next, and plan accordingly. Then you also have to figure out your maximum volume "personal item". I have a lovely leather purse but that can't be my personal item because its too small. A backpack is best, preferably one with a water bottle pocket. 

Now you have your carryon, your personal bag, and all your stuff. What to take??

Running Gear

• shoes, road and/or trail
• 2 pairs of socks
• running shorts or skirt 
• leggings
• rain jacket
• buff (maybe 2)
• toque
• hankie
• 2 T-shirts
• arm warmers
• hydration belt or vest
• headlamp
• sun visor
• watch 
• protein powder or your favourite gels

Of course if you're travelling to colder climes for some icy trail running then you'll need extra pants, gloves, hat and a winter jacket ... and y'all have special little running items you might bring. 

Other Clothes

• 3 T-shirts
• 2 long-sleeved shirt (one fancy)
• fleece or hoodie
• 2 pants or skirts (one fancy)
• 2 dresses (one fancy)
• 5 underwear
• 3 socks
• pyjamas
• flips flops
• bathing suit
• regular shoes or boots

Other Stuff

• jewelry
• shower bag: try to avoid liquids by using bar shampoo, conditioner and soap. Don't forget your travel sized toothpaste, deodorant, mouthwash, nail clippers, and your favourite moisturizer. I love to bring facial towelettes and I always like to have a washcloth
• makeup if you use it
• chargers, laptop, phone, earphones
• book
• journal or notebook, pen
• small day pack/ waist pack or purse
• snacks/protein bar
• water bottle
• earplugs
• vitamins or meds

Of course you're not going to forget your passport and all your important stuff right?

Annoying Stuff

Ok, so it's winter here but you're going to somewhere warmer? You do have to wear your winter jacket to the airport, and just pack it into a shopping bag if you don't need it where you're going. It's summer here and you're going somewhere cold? Why on earth would you do that?

Presents! If you're going to visit family or friends, or when you're coming home, you want to bring gifts right? But there's no room in your carry-on. You have to think very carefully about gifts, before you pack, and if you plan on bringing a ton of presents and/or bottles back you may want to budget for a check-in bag on your way back. Don't rely on duty free; I've noticed since the pandemics there are often unexpected closures, even in the bigger airports.

Bottom line: have fun! Make sure you bring anything you'll need for your daily run! Buon Viaggio!!

Birth (and life) after Cesarean

I love to listen to birth stories. Many of the stories that I hear are a testimony to the pregnant woman's great ability to "animal out" on her attendant. My favorite is the story of a young woman who had her first daughter by cesarean section She became pregnant again the same month and it turned out she was carrying twins. Her doctor was very alarmed and booked her for a cesarean at 38 weeks, She went into labor at 36 weeks and delivered two lovely girls, vaginally.

Of course, women who are trying for vaginal birth after cesarean don't always have such fine stories to tell. Two remarks have stayed with me over the years, and these were both delivered by obstetricians to a laboring woman. The first was: “Childbirth is like war, and I am on the front line.” The second: “This is Monday morning in a busy hospital. There are road accidents, emergencies …” This was said to a woman who wanted to labor a little more before the decision was made to go to surgery, implying that the birth of a child had to be scheduled in somehow between a messy car accident and some other horrific case. Why did this man want to become an obstetrician? How did he feel about his "patients"? How had he been born? What was it about birth that suggested to him images of war?
What is it about childbirth that makes these people think in terms of war, car accidents, death? Is it just fear? And if it is, what exactly are they afraid of? And , more importantly, where does the midwife fit into this mosaic of fear, or does she fit in it all?

Doctors and midwives who are afraid of childbirth are partly afraid because of their training. Allopathic medicine teaches about pathology rather than the whole healthy being, and pregnancy is often seen as a pathologic condition. But there is another more profound reason for this fear, and it has to do with the fact that Western medical training teaches health workers to rely only upon their own knowledge. How does this lead to fear?
Let me explain. During childbirth there is something present that is outside of us as individuals, out­ side our knowledge, even outside our experience or our skill. That "something" has to do with faith. It is only with a leap of faith that you can appreciate or even accept that a new human being comes out of a woman's vagina. Without that leap of faith, what happens? Two things: more obviously, you have to interfere, pull it out, cut it out another way. But another thing happens as well. Strangely, your faith (most of us have faith in something) gets turned inwards. As an obstetrician, you have faith only in your own skill. And that is what is frightening-- that an event which cries out for the presence of God gets reduced to the simply human.

I'm sure that there are obstetricians who works differently, but I think that it is easier for a mid­wife to accept that there is something else, something larger than herself, working through a birthing woman. It is quite noticeable how many mid­wives are religious, how many live in sight of that something which many people call God. But what happens to the sympathetic midwife working within the medical system? What happens to her sensitivity to that Other which touches us when we give birth?
I have met many diverse people over the years of working with birth.I have encountered some women who probably disliked their work, who were overtired, overworked, who had little faith in any­thing. I have also encountered mid­wives who have accepted modern medicine's vision of birth. And I have met many brave and gentle souls doctors, nurses, midwives, and doulas, who are working within the medical sys­tem and trying to maintain their faith at the same time.

What do we see in a hospi­tal? We see, first of all, an exagger­ated reliance upon technology. We know that the use of technology has a snowballing effect, creating the need for more and more complicated interventions. Secondly, we see a rigid hierar­chical structure in which usually one person is calling the shots. Finally, we see the "spiritual" infrastructure upon which this hierarchy is based, to be inward looking and grounded only in human knowledge.
What happens in the hospi­tal when things start to "go wrong," when things don't follow the pre­scribed path? When I went into the hospital in labor with my first child, the nurse, who was actually a mid­wife trained in Scotland, touched by belly and said cheerfully, "This baby will be born by noon." As time went on, she touched me less and less. By the next morning at the start of her shift, she didn't even greet me. As they let me eat and drink less and less, my cervix grew smaller, I was touched less and I began to feel more and more isolated. I was touched only when necessary. The baby's heart­ beat was checked less often. I began to feel abandoned.

Can I offer some advice to birth attendants working with women who are hoping to give birth vaginally after a cesarean section? Remember that the previous cesarean(s) have left scars not so much on the uterus as on the woman's sense that she is capable of giving birth. Accept that having a cesarean can hurt. Please don't de­scribe to her how a ruptured uterus may feel. Watch for danger signs yourself. Keep your concerns to your­self as much as possible. Remember "failure to progress" can be linked to fear and stress.
Keep things easy even when they get hard. Remember that a woman work­ing for a VBAC needs the comfort and security of her own home. Remem­ber that she may need to work on building confidence, on throwing away fear, on finding her "animal" self. Re­member as well, if it turns out to be another cesarean, don't abandon her. Give her the support through the birth and afterwards that you give any birthing woman. If a lady has another cesarean, she may feel very low; it may help her to talk to another mother who has been through the same thing. Avoid the mistake of "You're lucky the baby's okay.That's the important thing." Yes it is, obviously, but ... she may still need to grieve.

I am lucky - I have been blessed to have attended many successful VBACs during my years as a birth attendant. Thank you, again, to all the women who have shown me how fearless and strong birthing women are - not least, the woman who have said "Yes, I am ready for surgery, of course, if my baby's life is in danger."
Here's to a happy marriage of modern medicine and safe midwifery, with lower cesarean section rates and happier and healthy mothers and babies. L'Chaim! To Life!

Sovereign Womanhood and the Misappropriation of Reproduction

We DO have so much power in us. So then how do we end up filing into our hospitals with our birth plans and coming out cut or broken, with a baby in our arms?

All over the world, and especially all over North America, women are finding new ways to birth in their own sovereign power. This can be terrifying. It can be fulfilling. It can be both.

I am speaking to old women who are attending birthing mothers as Traditional Birth Companions. I speak with younger women, mothers of young children themselves, who are devoting their time to attending the births of the women in their communities. I am speaking with women who have said "No!" to the maternity care system we have installed in our countries, and who are giving birth alone or with their families. I see sisters helping sisters. I see communities that are thriving, attending each other in birth, as in life.

Here in Canada, we have very strict regulations about what constitutes someone's right to provide care to a woman during her childbearing year. If you perform any of these restricted practices, without an officially regulated midwifery license, and without being employed by and liable to the health services establishment, then you are practising midwifery without a license.

Billie Harrigan is a Traditional Birth Companion in Ontario. She does not perform restricted practices, and she does not call herself a midwife. She says that Vaginal exams are rude, but also that they constitute a very clear message that our reproductive life and our bodies are not our property: they are the property of the state, and only people mandated by the state can invade them. Number 7 of the Ontario Midwifery Act states that vaginal exams are a restricted practice. In other words, you cannot put "an instrument, hand or finger beyond the labia majora or anal verge during pregnancy, labour and the post-partum period."

Ok, don't get me wrong here. I don't actually WANT to do vaginal exams. I also think they're rude. Not only that, my doula students have heard me say for years that the only reason for so many endless vaginal exams is that medical professionals are not taught about how sexual birth is. The sexuality and the mind-blowingness and the all-out intensity of birth is sublimated into rituals such as vaginal exams (actually, it is absolutely amazing to feel a baby's head in someone's vagina. Just saying. But I keep my hands to myself.)

But my point is, that women have been regulated for far too long. Our bodies have been misappropriated by a maternity system that pretends it is doing things to us for our own good, and it is not. Why do you think many a woman going into the hospital wants (or discovers she needs) a doula by her side? Because the doula can try to prevent some of the grosser abuses from taking place. But not all. And certainly not enough. Not enough to make the difference to so many, many women who feel that they have been violated (and they have!) when all they wanted to do was to give birth to their child.

So, what is happening? Just when the pandemic started making our lives more restricted and difficult, women started wanting to birth away from Covid-infested hospitals. We all, as our lives changed, started to take deep breaths and realize that we don't actually want to go back to the old "normal". I am getting weekly calls and emails from women who want to learn about new ways of birthing. I'm connecting with women around the globe who are moving forward to change the face of birth; to change the world, starting with birth.

Want to come on board? Come along!

“Come, come, whoever you are. 

Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. 

It doesn't matter. 

Ours is not a caravan of despair. 

Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. 

Come, yet again, come, come.” 

Rumi

And, if you are one of us who has indeed experienced trauma, abuse, and despair during your birthing, even more reason for you to move away from that reality, bring your scars and hold your head up high and cry out: "Enough!"

What is to be done?

You can listen to the Baby Magic Podcast for inspiration.

You can join my Traditional Birth Attendant seminar.

You can reach out to me or to any of the fine women on our podcast for community, information, wisdom.

You can reach deep into your womanhood and remember that you are strong! You are magical! I love you!

For those of you who have a legal interest:

Here are the restricted practices in Quebec:
"Any act the purpose of which is to provide the professional care and services required by a woman during normal pregnancy, labour and delivery and to provide a woman and her child with the professional care and services required during the first six weeks of a normal postnatal period constitutes the practice of midwifery. The professional care and services concerned consist in
(1) monitoring and assessing a woman and her child during pregnancy, labour, delivery and the first six weeks of the postnatal period, and include the provision of preventive care and the detection of any abnormal conditions in the woman or child ;
(2) conducting spontaneous deliveries ;
(3) performing an amniotomy, performing and repairing an episiotomy and repairing a first or second degree perineal tear or laceration.


In addition, in an emergency, while awaiting the required medical intervention or in the absence of medical intervention, applying suction, conducting a breech delivery, performing manual placental extraction followed by digital exploration of the uterus or performing resuscitation procedures on the woman or newborn also constitutes the practice of midwifery."
(http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/en/ShowDoc/cs/S-0.1
In Ontario, they are much less vague:


"1. Communicating a diagnosis identifying, as the cause of a woman’s or newborn’s symptoms, a disease or disorder that may be identified from the results of a laboratory or other test or investigation that a member is authorized to order or perform on a woman or a newborn during normal pregnancy, labour and delivery and for up to six weeks post-partum.

2. Managing labour and conducting spontaneous normal vaginal deliveries.

3. Inserting urinary catheters into women.

4. Performing episiotomies and amniotomies and repairing episiotomies and lacerations, not involving the anus, anal sphincter, rectum, urethra and periurethral area.

5. Administering, by injection or inhalation, a substance designated in the regulations.

6. Prescribing drugs designated in the regulations.

7. Putting an instrument, hand or finger beyond the labia majora or anal verge during pregnancy, labour and the post-partum period.

8. Administering suppository drugs designated in the regulations beyond the anal verge during pregnancy, labour and the post-partum period.

9. Taking blood samples from newborns by skin pricking or from persons from veins or by skin pricking.

10. Intubation beyond the larynx of a newborn.

11. Administering a substance by injection or inhalation as provided for in subsection 4.1 (2). 2009, c. 26, s. 16 (1). (https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/91m31)"

Unassisted Childbirth

I wrote this post about ten years ago ... nothing much has changed in the system, but we are seeing a growing number of women choosing to birth outside the medical system.

Back in the good old days, when I was a subsistence farmer in paradise, I had a friend who told me her birth story. This was before I started working with birth, but not before I had already started studying and learning, and listening to women's stories.

 

Friends Sharing Birth Stories

My friend's first baby had been a breech who did not want to get her head down. The policy at that time in Italy, as in many places, was to deliver breech babies by cesarean section, especially if the woman was a primipara.

So, my friend had a c-section, and she did not feel good about that birth at all. She thought that it was probably possible to give birth to a breech baby vaginally, and she felt pushed into making a decision that did not feel right to her. She decided she didn't want to go back to the hospital again to give birth.

She became pregnant again, and decided to stay at home this time and give birth on her own terms. She looked for a homebirth midwife but at that time in Italy they were a rare breed, especially if you were living in the hills as all us organic subsistence farmers did. She prepared by reading about natural birth, and she made sure she had methergine in the house - they always had it on hand for the goats.

Labor started and she sent her husband and child out for the day. She didn't want her daughter present for what she knew was going to be an intense and possibly scary event.
This was before cell phones, and they didn't have a phone, so he planned to come back around suppertime. She labored on her own and late in the afternoon, gave birth to a healthy baby.
"Were you scared?"
"Yes, I really wanted to have someone else around. I remember when I started pushing, and I felt a cervical lip, and I gently pushed it out of the way - I really wanted someone to be there with me. But I knew everything would be okay - I had a feeling. And if it wasn't ok, then it wasn't. I did it my way."

There is a growing movement that promotes unassisted childbirth as a way to regain control over your own birth, and there are many valid reasons for not wanting anyone at all from outside your circle of family and loved ones to be present at the birth of your child. It is, after all, a natural event, more like lovemaking than like a medical procedure. The presence of a stranger, even a well-liked one, can change and disturb the process. Midwives can be regulated by laws that perhaps don't agree with a woman's perception of how she wants her birth to proceed. 

I often get calls from women who are planning to give birth without attendants. They want information, or they want to find someone to be a "fly on the wall" - who can be there "just in case". Most of these women are women who have not been able to find a registered midwife - either they didn't call early enough, or they live in the wrong area, or they are considered too high risk for a homebirth. They don't really want an unassisted birth, but they are committed to not wanting to go to the hospital unless they really have to, so they are left with unassisted birth as their only option. Because we Canadians are used to free health care, cost is also a consideration. Unregistered midwives charge around $2000 for prenatal, birth, and postpartum care (that works out to about $10.73 an hour, in case you're wondering). Many women do not feel that this amount is an option, and, again, make the choice to give birth "unassisted".

I firmly believe in a woman's right to choose what's best for her body, and for her life. If a woman chooses to give birth on her own, or just with her partner, or her sister, in her own home, then power to her! She is making an adult choice, and she is accepting responsibility. But I do feel sad when women want to have the care of a midwife and cannot.

No woman should have to give birth on her own if she doesn't want to. Midwifery care should be available, really available, to any woman. Homebirth should be an option for us all. Unassisted homebirth is only one option, but it should be an option that is actively chosen and not decided on for lack of other plans. Equally, hospital birth is only one option. Health women carrying healthy babies should not have to go to the hospital to give birth unless they actively want to. Informed choice should be a reality - it should be informed, that is, women should educate themselves and each other, and they should ask for informtaion from their care providers. And choice should be a real choice with real options - unassisted, home birth, midwifery care, hospital birth.

Let's work together to bring the woman and child back to the center of maternity care!

She's Too Radical

When I look in the mirror these days I see a caricature of Mrs. Tiggywinkle. My body changed over the past ten years. Even though I still run four kilometers three or four times a week, and I feel quite fit, more or less, my shoulders have changed shape, my waist has thickened, my grey hair is down to my bum but no one ever sees it because I wrap it in a scarf, and...well, I feel different.

Mrs Tiggywinkle, however, is a laundress. She is an independent female: round in shape, granted, and she is a little perhaps neurotic, but she takes care of herself, of her small house, does other people's laundry AND makes friend with a little girl in distress.

And she's got fearsome prickles.

Is she radical?

I met a prospective client the other day. Lovely woman, nice partner. She had heard about me through one of the long grapevines that eventually lead my way. I'm not big on advertising, publicity, I never wanted to be on Oprah, and I don't have a fan club. So people usually hear about me from other women in a round about way.

But this lady had gone through a list of doulas in Montreal, found them wanting, and came to me. And she expressed one doubt, which was that I may be "too radical".

Radical has its root from root: from Late Latin "radicalis" ("of or pertaining to the root, having roots, radical"), and from Latin radix (“root”).
And the definition is: Favouring fundamental change, or change at the root cause of a matter. 

What is the root cause of the birth matter? I believe the root cause of abusive maternity care shares its root with woman abuse in every aspect of our lives. So, in "favouring fundamental change", I am going to go to the root of the matter. I am not going to spout empty slogans and run other women's lives according to my agenda.

The root of birth abuse is a culturally useful and familiar disrespect for women in general, and for birthing women in particular. If I am going to practice as a radical doula, then my priority will be respecting the birthing woman. To this end, I will not persuade her to make choices that conform to me agenda. Ever.




The woman I met may have been imagining a furie, a Roman goddess of vengeance, guarding the door of the birth room with an eye to exacting payment for past wrongs.

The furie would insist that the woman follow her rules: no interventions, under any circumstances; upright positions throughout; lots of vocalizing required; partner hands-on at all times.







But radical doulas are not furies. We respect the desires of the women we accompany. We melt our egos and support the woman's choices. Our agendas stay at home. We are just and fair, possibly to a fault. It is a fine line between supporting a woman during childbirth and feeling like you are witnessing, indeed apologizing for, an abusive act that should be named. But in the naming, the birth process is damaged. Our role is to bear witness, to take notes, and to love the one you're with.

Rest, Recovery, Reflection, Renewal?

I am sitting on a hilltop in northern Italy, rather completely on my own. My dog is here. I'm surrounded by insects, animals (deer, wild boars, the odd wolf, badgers, and all that). I planned for a very active summer, running at least 40 k a week, which I love doing - running long distances is literally my happy place. But then some stuff happened and I got Covid and now I just feel cellularly tired. So every day I spend quite a few hours just sitting staring out at the view. 

And what I've been asking myself is that difficult, age old question: Who Am I?

When you spend hours alone, especially in a spot where silence is the overwhelming sound, you get a chance to really "dig deep" and find out what your questions are. I can't really believe that I have been inhabiting this body and mind and soul I guess for nearly 66 years and I still don't really know who or what I am. So, let me start at the beginning, well maybe not that far back but ... 

Names

I guess you all know the story about how Toni Morrison got her name. Toni she decided on herself, after converting to Catholicism at age 12 and naming herself Anthony. Morrison was her husband's name and she was stuck with it because when her first novel was published she was still using it as her legal name even though they were already divorced. There's an quote floating around from 1992 that goes like this: 

"I am really Chloe Anthony Wofford. That’s who I am. I have been writing under this other person’s name. I write some things now as Chloe Wofford, private things. I regret having called myself Toni Morrison when I published my first novel, The Bluest Eye.”

Well, the same kind of thing happened to me. I'd always been Niki, or Nicky when I was very young. Or Nicola when my parents were mad at me. Then in my forties I had a brush with religion - not Catholicism - and I was persuaded to change my name. So I changed it to Rivka, a name I don't even like that much, but who gets to pick their own name. And then my work as a doula, birth companion, teacher, author and my whole birth persona grew wings under the guise of Rivka Cymbalist and there I was, and here I am, just like Toni Morrison (ha!).

So, for now, Niki is reserved for my family and people who knew me before the Great Name Change. But I'm kind of getting tired of inhabiting two separate lives so I may just change my name again.

Bodies

Who knew? Bodies change. I thought the biggest change would be that infamous time when I grew breasts and got my period. Pregnancy was fun. I didn't have such a tough time with it, in fact I enjoyed growing babies. Birthing them was tough, but I really loved having little babies and children around, and breastfeeding, and those body changes didn't really bother me. Some fibroids, a touch of hyperthyroid. Nothing serious. 

Menopause was kind of a relief, no more monumentally Niagara Falls cycles. No more fertility, and I was ready for that, because I was happy with my five children. Did I think I'd overdone it? No.

But then, the thing is, everyone goes on about menopause because it's when a woman is no longer fertile and I guess biologically speaking no longer useful. But the body changes more dramatically and more quickly after the whole menopause thing is history.

I've written about this before, and I have to point out, it's not specific ailments that bother me - thank goodness - I'm healthy. But just like during puberty and adolescence, and I'm imagining anyone with body dysmorphia, I just don't feel right in my skin. Its like my clothes don't fit me right, except they do. My clothes fit, I still take the same size more or less, a medium. But it's my skin that doesn't fit. It feels weird, it's too loose, it's floppy, it doesn't feel like its mine. I look funny in the mirror, who's that old lady? Why is her skin all dry? damn it, why didn't I wear sunscreen for all those years? 

So that's the tunnel I can fall down when I don't remember to center and use moisturizer every morning. Yes, it is my body, yes indeed I am very grateful and proud of it, it's like an old car, just keeps on chugging. But I can't help it, it feels weird.

Profession

Oh goodness, could I just say I'm a witch? I guess not....but this is weird too because I think I studied witchery and magic my whole life, and science too of course. And poetry, and of course I learned all about having kids and all when I went ahead and had five of them. 

But my professional label doesn't exist, because I'm not a registered midwife. I'm a birth companion or whatever. My Impostor Syndrome kicks in frequently; sometimes I think my actual profession is "Impostor".

I've mostly been a mother. 

And the renewal part of this whole exploration? It's a deep, deep sense that change means pain, and from pain comes change. Life just doesn't stop, until it does. So, in a sense, my resting, my recovery, my reflections ... lead to a renewal of sorts which is a kind of an acceptance of the continually changing nature of my life: child, young woman, mother, older woman, mother, older woman, grandmother, mother, birth attendant, peace keeper, rebel, anarchist, runner, crone...