Blessings

When I think about blessings, I think about what I've done for so much of my life. I've spent many years of my time on the planet providing birth services (love, care and knowledge) for free. So when I think about it I get sad (because I haven't done enough), and then I get mad (because for a lot of people, it's all about the dollar), then I get happy. Because when we do our work out of love for the other, we are literally changing the world. Love can change the world! Giving love, sacrificing your stuff for another, rains down blessings.

I'd love to change the world...but I don't know what to do.

There's a movement growing: the movement of regulation, of expertise, professionals. If y'all don't conform and waste your time doing paperwork and following the man's rules, then you will get smashed. Smash the patriarchy? Good luck! The patriarchy is busy smashing you, by telling you what to think and believe.

So here's a message to the young doulas and would-be midwives out there: don't get sucked in by the bullshit message that you are a professional. You're not. You are a companion, with hands, heart and kindness, and maybe a smattering of knowledge. You are there to provide comfort, love, warmth, you're there to provide a safe space. Yes, people with money should pay you. But if we let simple companionship become a luxury that's only available for the rich, then we are, quite simply, fucked.

Trickle Down?

Let's face it ... good stuff doesn't trickle down. You have to work really hard to get the good things in life to the people who deserve them: shelter, medical care, food, clean clothes, and all of those things that many of us take for granted.

In the last ten days, I have had over ten requests from women who desperately need maternity care. I can only provide them with free doula care, from the volunteers who donate their time to Montreal Birth Companions. Some of these volunteers are students, some are experienced doulas.  But doulas don't provide medical care, and most of these women have not had prenatal care, so they are at risk for worse outcomes than the generally healthy population of our fair city.

I was called at 2:30 in the morning last week by a doula, frantic with worry. She had been called by one of our clients who was bleeding heavily. I told the doula to call 911 immediately. She did so and mother and baby survived.

Several times over the past week I have been juggling available doulas to accompany one of the MBC mothers who was laboring and needed companionship. Doulas are people too, some are on vacation, some are pregnant, most have other jobs.

I assisted at a birth where the midwives were unable to provide the mother with effective care postpartum. I was at another birth with a baby who became ill after birth. I got another call from a doula whose client was bleeding after giving birth, and the midwives had not made it to the house on time.

I have had several requests over the past few weeks from mothers who cannot find a midwife, who don't want to birth in the hospital, who are looking for an unregistered midwife. Unregistered, underground, or illegal midwives work without any medical backup and if they need to transfer their clients to the hospital, have no standing with the medical staff and are treated either as doulas or as "friends". Unregistered midwives often make calls that are not as effective as they could be - they work on a basis of mutual respect which sometimes can mean taking risks that may be dangerous and unprofessional.

I am seeing the writing on the wall, and it is telling me that we are not taking care of our mothers and babies. I can't always be there to answer the phone when a mother is in need, or a doula, (and rightly so) cannot provide medical care when there is no doctor.

Something must be done! Se non ora, quando?

Midwifery and Doula Work

I just found out that another student graduate of the MBC Doula School has been accepted into Ryerson midwifery school. She will make a wonderful midwife and I truly believe that the experience she has had volunteering for Montreal Birth Companions has given her the groundwork that she needs to start her midwifery education with confidence and compassion. I hope she can be inspired by my friend Robin whose midwife life is documented in this wonderful film:

I have been involved in maternity care since I was thirteen, which as my youngest son likes to point out, was a very long time ago! For years, when my four older children were small and I was running an organic subsistence farm, I studied Clara Hartley's "Apprentice Academics" long-distance midwifery courses, and so I gained my theoretical background for woman-centered care. When I returned to Canada, I chose to attend births as a doula and I continued to learn from every woman I accompanied, and from every professional I met.

I have been part of programs that offer midwifery internships to students in parts of the world where midwives is scarce and hospitals are under-equipped and expensive. This phenomenon morphed into programs in the southern US that provide midwife-based maternity care to Mexican women, and it also became a popular way for student midwives from the US to "get their numbers" for the Certified Professional Midwife program administered by NARM. This practice has now been discontinued because of ethical considerations, which makes it even more difficult for midwifery students from North America to have contact with women from cultures outside of their own. 

Midwifery programs in Canada are not apprentice-based, and the university programs that teach Canadian midwives do not expect students to go to the community to gather their birth experience. Practical experience is combined with theoretical study to provide the students with a grounding in midwifery in Canada. 

The requirements for graduation vary slightly from province to province, but generally a graduate midwife must have attended "a minimum of 60 births, acting as primary caregiver for at least 40 births in home and hospital settings." (http://www.ryerson.ca/midwifery/overview.html)

A student midwife can learn a lot from participating in the births of 60 babies. As every birth is different, the student will see, hear and learn about many variations to the tune of giving birth. If she is primary caregiver for 40 births, hopefully she will attend ten home births, and possibly have to transfer one of those to the hospital.

But I propose that prospective midwifery students in Canada and around the world can greatly benefit from a foundation of learning and experience that they will find by volunteering as doulas for needy women.

Why? 

First, volunteering as a doula can teach a midwifery student about an important aspect of midwifery, an aspect that is not taught in class and can only be learned in practice - and even better in doula practice! This is the art of sitting on your hands: "Don't just do something - sit there!" is one of the golden rules of being a true Birth Keeper. Doulas working in hospitals alongside medically trained professionals need to be able to keep their opinions to themselves. They need to learn how to act diplomatically in all sorts of situations. They need to learn how to comfort, how to heal, how to facilitate natural birth with only the lowest technologies. They learn how to measure cervical dilation with their eyes and ears. They can distinguish between normal pain in labor and suffering. They are adept at hearing the little catch in the breath at the peak of a contraction that means that a woman is nearing the pushing phase. They can sense the difference between the "6 cm rectal pressure" (when a woman probably just needs to have a poo); and the fully dilated deep pushing urge.

Why are these skills important for a midwife? Because the art of midwifery rests on a foundation of physiological childbirth. And the more a midwife knows about how NOT to disturb the birthing process, the easier her task will be. Then when she starts her midwifery classes, which teach her the skills that doulas are not trained in, she will already have the very basics of birth attendance.

Secondly, as a volunteer doula with an organization such as MBC, the midwife-to-be will come into contact with women from many backgrounds. She will witness birth experiences that will be as different from each other as every woman's story. She will find herself listening to women's stories from around the world, and she will learn about herself as a woman and as a birth companion. She will learn about professional boundaries, and about the challenges that women face when they are marginalized.

As a Birth Keeper, I have witnessed many births and I have been part of many more, as coordinator of MBC, as shoulder to cry on, as mentor. I have learned from books and from my teachers (Basia, Ibu Robin, Heather, and others). I have learned what NOT to do from other teachers - and those I won't name - but I have witnessed midwives, nurses and physicians who have treated birthing women with disrespect and brutality. 

But the most I have learned has been from the birthing women I have served. And this is why I believe that volunteering with an organization such as Montreal Birth Companions should not be an aid to midwifery school acceptance, but a requirement.

Birth Companions Doula Course

The next Level One doula course is coming up soon - starting on April 15! This course will give you the skills you need to volunteer with Montreal Birth Companions.

Level One Doula Course

Looking forward to seeing you there!

MBC presents Ibu Robin

Montreal Birth Companions Radical Doulas

I am writing today mainly to praise and glorify! The radical, wonderful volunteer doulas who work alongside me in Montreal Birth Companions.

This month we are working with about ten women, from varied places across the globe, from China, Quebec, the Ukraine, the middle east and the Caribbean. I have each of these ladies assigned to two doulas, that's twenty doulas and many, many woman hours, and all of those hours are taken away from time spent at jobs, with family, or at other activities.

Some of the volunteers are doulas who are taking my doula course, but others are fully qualified doulas who still commit time to volunteering for this worthy cause.

MBC volunteers, you are amazing radical doulas. I love you all.

Montreal Birth Companions Volunteer Doula Program

It is with a heavy heart that I have had to put our volunteer efforts on hold for a while. We made an application for funding in January and we are awaiting good news, but in the meantime I have decided I can no longer put in the hours of work I was devoting to the organization.

I was surprised by the lack of response by some of the agencies who have been accepting our volunteer services for many years. Maybe I was kind of imagining people to write back and say that we will all pull together and let's do this thing! But no, the announcement passed without much of a ripple.

Just like the earth, everything needs to be left for a time in order to grow healthy and strong. I am having my fallow time now. I was offered a very good opportunity that meant leaving my family for two months, and I decided to leave that go as well. I need to stay at home, write my book, and let myself be nourished by my surroundings (inside my house, let it be known , not the grey urban landscape outside).

And since I made that decision, all sorts of new sprouts have been poking their green heads up from the ground. To continue my metaphor, even the manure I received from some of the crummier experiences I've had over the years has proven useful. Difficult times and difficult people have taught me to bend when necessary, and to stand firm when possible.

So, please send your best wishes our way, that the powers that be in the funding world smile upon us, so that MBC can continue to provide doulas for the neediest women in our society.

A reader just pointed out - if you wish to donate, please visit the MBC website here and you can donate directly. Thanking you in advance!

Update

Just to let y'all know - the volunteer doulas texted me at 3pm, our lady was going to have a sandwich and a lie down - then I didn't hear until 7pm - Baby Girl!!!

Quick and joyful natural birth. Thank you all for the collective toe pointing.

The doulas went home happy and will be back today to visit the new mother. They will visit her over the next week to make sure the breastfeeding is going well, and to talk over the labor and birth, and share in the joy.

Montreal Birth Companions

Right now, a lady who dearly wants to have a natural birth is in labor. She found out about Montreal Birth Companions from a little workshop she attended, and she contacted us with a request for a volunteer doula. She is single, living alone, and doesn't have the means to pay for a private doula - they can run to over $1000 here in Montreal. Of course, many people can afford them because they have private health insurance, and many doulas are now able to provide insurance receipts, which makes it a lot cheaper for the average working couple.

But MBC gets requests from women and families who cannot afford very much at all, and so our dedicated doulas donate their time and energy to accompanying these women on their childbirth journey. Sometimes we are approached by women who can afford a small stipend, but usually we are called by other agencies who have clients who need companions.

Over the years, MBC doulas have accompanied women from the four round corners of the earth: from the continent of Africa, from India and south-east Asia, China, Eastern and Western Europe, Central and South America, and of course from Canada. Our clients speak many different languages, as do the doulas. Many of our clients over the years have not spoken either of the official languages of Quebec (French and English, in case you were wondering...). Many of these women are single, many have recently arrived in Canada, some have left their other children behind.

Today's champion started early labor yesterday. She has been happy at home on her own until this morning, when her contractions started to become more intense. One MBC doula went to her place after she finished work; another is on the way when her work day is finished. They will probably be heading to the hospital soon.

Eight years ago, when our doulas first started volunteering, I was mentoring two exceptional women who were at one of their first birth experiences. This was with a lovely woman from the Indian subcontinent, who was unsure about when to go to the hospital. Although the doulas had been through a very comprehensive training (Holistic Perinatal Associates which, sadly, is no more - it was created by myself and Lesley Everest, of Motherwit fame), they couldn't figure out what exactly was going on, so they made several trips to the hospital in the middle of the night. Each time, they phoned me to ask my advice, and several other times too. So finally at around four am, they called me to say they were off to the hospital. I was lying in bed, and my feet happened to be pointing in the direction of the hospital they were going to. So I sleepily said "I'll point my toes for you.", which meant, of course, the equivalent of crossing my fingers, kissing my amulet, or praying for a good birth. The lady did go on to have a wonderful, natural birth, accompanied by her stout-hearted and exhausted doulas. Since then, "pointing your toes" has become a common saying in the Montreal doula community.

Some of our volunteers relaxing in the hospital!

So, everyone, "point your toes" for the lady in labor, wish her all the best, and let's hear a cheer for her wonderful doulas!!!

Montreal Doula Trainings

MBC volunteer doulas had a potluck meeting the other night, and the subject of doula training came up, as it always does when you get a few doulas together.

Here in Montreal, we have a good selection of opportunities for would-be doulas - but more about that in a minute. First, the whole question of training. We do not need to be trained, any more than doulas are "coaches". One reason why we have to keep using terms that we perhaps don't agree completely with is the grip the internet and its rules has over our choices. "Training" is a keyword that many people will use. Many doula "trainers" will agree with me, this is not an exact description of what we do, but for now, that's the word we agree to use.
Suggestions? Doula guidance? Flaky. Doula program? Could work. Doula course? Too limited.

A good doula training will include teaching, guiding, role-play, hands on experience, and, exceptionally, teaching by example. Usually, the course will have some kind of text, or at least some handouts, to follow; some physical demonstrations; and a role-playing segment where the students can get a sense of what it is really like to assist a birthing woman.

Montreal doula trainings come in two flavors: French, and English. The English programs seem to be few and far between, but most of the would-be doulas here usually find their fit. DONA, the international doula organization, does doula trainings very rarely here, but I have met a few women who have travelled to Ottawa to do their trainings. They cost around $400 for a weekend, and do not include shadowing or mentorship, but do give a good basic foundation. Alternative Naissance also does trainings in English twice a year.

The most well known, and the most comprehensive training in Montreal is the one run by Motherwit. Most of the English speaking doulas in town have graduated, or in the process of working on, this training. It gives the student an excellent preparation for working within the Montreal health care system - which is no easy task! These classes are run two or three times a year, and fill up fast. Mentorship and shadowing is also possible within the program. This is a great course run by a wonderful woman.

I also take on apprentices and run quirky doula courses. I am organizing one in Barbados for the third week of February, in conjunction with the Birth House in Bridgetown.  This summer, in July, I will be teaming up with Lewis Mehl-Madrona to lead a retreat in a fantastic spot in Italy, Casa della Pace. This will be a retreat opportunity for birth workers, writers, and any one interested in healing through story.
I am often approached by would-be doulas for shadowing and apprenticeship possibilities, and I am very open to those. I have four apprentices working with me now, and one in particular is doing a self-directed program using my book as a foundation, in preparation for midwifery training.

If you are interested in any of these possibilities, please email me for further information.

One question the women had the other night was "What if I do the training - and none of them are free! - and then I find out I don't want to be a doula after all"?
My answer is this: "Learn and keep on learning." You will not waste the money and effort doing a good doula program. So much of it prepares you for life, not just for working as a doula. I have learned so much over the years working as a doula that I hope to apply to how I live. Of course, it is important to find the right teacher, and you will know that right away. The choice should be made that way, however, not by price, effort, or convenience. Find a mentor, learn from her. Talk to other doulas. Volunteer. Keep an open mind and an open heart.

Volunteer Birth Companions

I am very happy my book is selling - by the way, people, it would be a very nice Christmas or Hanukah gift for any of your close friends or relatives who are expecting a baby in 2012.

Please visit Amazon to review or "like" my book.

I want to tell you about the Montreal Birth Companions. This is a group of very special women who accompany underprivileged women  during their labor and birth experiences. Most of our doulas are just starting out, but some of them have been working with us for years. They are all volunteers, working out of their own pockets and from the goodness of their hearts to help other women have a joyous birth experience.

One of "my"doulas has been volunteering for months, doing her own research, studying,doing courses with different organizations and waiting for her time to accompany a woman in labor. Finally, yesterday, I got a call from a nurse to tell me that one of their patients who is alone here in Montreal was in labor and wanted a companion.

Our doula rushed to the hospital, where she witnessed a beautiful natural birth and was able to provide comfort and companionship to a birthing woman. She is hoping to be accepted to midwifery school this year, and I hope she gets in. She is a natural!

The Volunteer Spirit

I know so many young women who are eager to spend their time volunteering. They want to gain experience working with women and babies, so they donate hours and bundles of energy to women who perhaps don't have money to pay a doula, or to women who are in a difficult situation postpartum.
This is the core of being a doula, that desire to accompany women on their path toward motherhood, whether we are paid in money or not. I am sure all of us fantasize about an old great grandmother that we have, who traveled from her village to assist women in childbirth, and accepted just a bag of lentils or some corn as payment. This did happen, although I don't think all of our grannies were midwives.
But we have inherited that peaceful, nourishing spirit, and we try our best to assist women, even though lentils cannot pay the rent.
Of course, a midwife has a much greater responsibility than the modern doula. She was responsible for the life of the mother and baby. Often, she was the only one who could save the baby's life - there wasn't an intensive care unit down the road. But she did her job, and she did it well, and the best midwives were the ones who worked in the background of the mother's labor, who assisted only when necessary, who left the honour and joy to the birthing woman.
Just so a doula peaceably attends birth. Not interfering, humble, almost invisible, not a "Professional" or an "Expert", but a friend, a companion. The volunteer doulas who work for Montreal Birth Companions, and other volunteer organizations around the world, are just that - companions. They attend, accompany, and honor the birthing woman. And all for lentils!!

La Dolce Vita Benefit Dinner

I met a lovely group of women the other night - and I am honored that their organization, Dining for Social Change, has decided that MBC will be the recipient of their upcoming Tuscan dinner.

The event will take place on March 12, 2011 at 7pm
at 5213, rue Hutchison, Montreal .

The dinner will be prepared by a local chef and promises to be a great event. You can eat, drink and be merry, and know that you are supporting a very worthy cause.

The  Montreal Birth Companions  mandate is to provide free doula services for women who are in REAL need: recent immigrants, refugees or asylum seekers, or women living on the street or in difficult circumstances. Our doulas do prenatal classes with these women and then attend their labor and birth. We run on almost no cash. Most of the work we do is a labor of love. We serve about 60 women a year, and one client takes up to 50 hours of a doula's time.

For tickets, please click here.

Looking forward to seeing you all there!