Running Memories

I'm so fortunate to be able to run. Here are some running memories.

 

Is Social Media Destroying my Joy?

On the metro in the morning I wear my disguise. I dress up as a middle-aged woman going to work. Which is what I am.

It's pretty nice because people give me their seat, which I like.

But every Sunday I go for a nice long run.

I've been doing long races since 2015, when I ran my first half-marathon. I love running!

Or at least I used to. But these days I feel clogged up with information, advice, opinions, reports, essays, books, photos ... it's all very heavy and it's making me feel bloated and uncomfortable.

There are countless articles, scholarly and otherwise, about the effects of social media on our "self-esteem". But that term itself is a modern take on an ancient concern: Who am I? Where am I? And what does it all mean? "Self-esteem" is a way of describing a certain contentment with the way things are, or rather, with the way I Am. "Self-esteem" inspects how I feel about myself. And what better way to increase my "self-esteem" than to present pleasant images to others that will reveal how truly wonderful I really am.

Right?

The problem is, everybody is posting those images, and some people are better at it than others, and some people even hire other people to post them, so we really don't know where to stand. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The bigger picture is that all of our activities - from the most banal (walking the dog? giving a three year old some cereal?) to the most intimate (giving birth) to the most impressive (running a 3 hour marathon at age 60) - all of these activities that we love to do, or the ones we do by rote, or the special unique events in our lives - they're all bunched together, shouted out to the world, commented on, "liked" or not, and then forgotten.

Don't tell me that you've never been doing something and, as you're doing it, you're thinking about what to post about it. Oh, I know there are purists like my husband who - honestly, people! - uses Facebook for what it is worth - funny animal videos. But most of us who are online are online way too much, and thinking about being online way too much, and we are turning ourselves into something I'm not sure is such a great idea.

Or are we? My state of mind when I made this pre-Olympics video with my son was one of good humor, happiness, and strength. I make some fun of myself, and I was clearly having a good time. So what has led me to the point I am at now? When I'm taking myself so seriously, checking my paces, weighing myself, jumping from one running program to the next, not satisfied with my progress.

Progress?

We are using social media to mark our progress. Who's better - using any marker you and your friends choose to use - most radical, most downtrodden, most fertile, most religious, most athletic, best cook, cutest pets...

Oh, don't get me wrong! I'm still going to post my cafe events, funny things I find, my haunted houses. But I'm planning on going real easy when it comes to virtual running. My body needs to run, fine. My "self-esteem" can stay at home.

8 Kilometer Thoughts

Mostly cloudy, -12 (Celsius)

Hmmm glad I wore my cleats, it's super icy. Kind of getting sick of Kenny Rogers, gotta get some new tunes. No! Summertime Blues? Next...

Okay, out and back, four k out then turn... or should I shake things up a bit? Ok, light's green, it's gonna be an out and back.

So, why can't I be happy? I'm always miserable with everything. I just need to live in the moment. Mindfulness. That's what running can teach me. Good. Good to run. Remember how grateful you are to have a healthy strong body. 

I'm gonna go the long way around this roundabout, there we go. Gotta remember to do the same on the way back. Na, not feeling it today. 2 k blues. Weird how that happens. 

Great song! Love the Wood Brothers. Damn my nose is running a lot today. They said the sun was gonna come out. But no. Grey shitty day. Montreal. Why can't I be happy here? Ok, stay in the moment. Be happy! Breathe!

So, yeah, the difference between Goals and Expectations. That's gotta be my mantra from today on forever. No expectations. Ok, like, if I have a goal to, let's say, finish a marathon. That's a goal. Expectation to win? Haha. Expectations that the dishes'll be done when I get home? No! Not realistic, also I shouldn't think about what other people are gonna do. Ok, my mantra for the rest of my life. No expectations. But goals! Marathon. Training. Being a better person. All that. 

Damn! What a beautiful day! I'm so lucky to have a healthy bod. Gotta be careful to NEVER cross in the middle, runners get hit by cars because of the high. Wait for the light. No cars coming, ok, go! 

Yikes, that was a serious piece of ice. Like a skating rink, hard, transparent. You can still slip if you're wearing cleats. I hate falling. Gotta learn how to fall.

Yeah, stairs, I love stairs. Up, cross over the tracks, down. Good one! Great song! Love the old Led Zeppelin for good running tunes. Ya, the good old days. Revolution! Yeah. Damn my hankie is getting so wet. Hey another runner! 

So don't wave back, bitch. Was she wearing cleats? I'm a pussy. She was going faster than me. Taller too. I look like a short fat hedgehog running along. Who am I kidding. 

Oh, 50%, ok time to turn around, yay I don't have to cross R. street, never get the light. Nice, I feel good! four k already? Great! Ya, a little detour, the long way around, better. A fucking Maserati? Who needs a Maserati? What is wrong with everyone? Capitalism! Bullshit. Well, you're living it. I should just move up to my mountain. 

How fast am I going? Damn, speed it up. That's better. Ok, no checking my watch until I'm at 90%. Ok, what's 8 k divided by 10? Like, four fifths, and what's four fifths of 8 k? Ok, so 8 divided by five is. Ok, so five miles divided by five is one. But that's not right because I have 15% left, so what's 5% of five miles? Damn I looked at my watch.

Ok, sprint home, one k left. For fuck's sake, why are you PARKING on the sidewalk? Damn, you shouldn't get mad when you're running, mindfulness, happiness, feel good, ok, 110%...done. Yeah good run!

Running Home

I never thought I'd be interested in a sport. I guess running isn't a sport, per se. Anyway, I have a drawer full of running gear, I have three different pairs of running shoes, I now read running articles and magazines, and I would rather be on a nice long run than just about anything else.
So what happened?
It's just wonderful to feel yourself strong and in your body. It's fun to run like you used to when you were a kid. There's no team work involved, so you don't have to relate to anyone except yourself. It's fun to sweat, and it's fun to achieve something in a half hour that you didn't think you could do. It's even fun to come home after a not-so-great run and feel a sense of satisfaction that at least you went out and did it.

Another weirder thing, for me. When I'm out running it's the only time I feel normal. I rarely feel at home in my skin. From being a white colonial baby in Africa cared for by my Ayah, to suddenly moving to oil country (Alberta) when a toddler, and being the only weirdo in school... and becoming a wanderer... whatever, I felt like an outsider much of my life and sometimes that is even outside myself. Which yes is also weird.

But when I'm running? I'm here and now! I'm free again - running in the Rockies, or anywhere. Just running for the hell of it. Ya, so get shoes, clothing, gloves whatever a hat if its cold, and just step out... and run...

Of course there are problems, life is suffering after all. Don't go out alone on a rural road if you're a woman. Don't run after dark in an isolated area if you're a woman. And all that. Even today, some asshole yelled after me ... actually he yelled AT me while I ran past. I turned back around and came up to face him again... he looked down at the ground. Didn't want to deal with a mean-ass bad-ass 62 year old like yours truly.

I'll have run 1000 kilometres in 2018. I'm hoping to crunch a half marathon in February and a full in May.
So grateful that I can.

My 10 Favourite Running Books (and 3 extras)

I love to read. My night table is piled with books and my house is a testament to my love of reading. Bookshelves are packed, sometimes sideways, and I have a hard time deciding which ones to give away if they get too crowded. My cafe is a reader's haven, and the main library in downtown Montreal is one of my favourite places. And along with the regular social media platforms that everyone lives on, one of my favourites is Goodreads (check out my 10 favourite running books!).

So, of course, I love to read about my other favourite activity: running. Although I would never want to mix them. I am not that person who runs on a treadmill with a book in front of her. No, my idea of reading involves sitting or lying down, preferably with a hot beverage or tasty carb.

Here are my ten favourite running books. Scroll or read down to find out what my all-time favourite is!

Number Ten

I am not a mathematician! And I don't organize my life too far ahead. Ok, I did a 26 week marathon training plan. But it was an easy one, and it was 26 weeks long precisely because it had space for life to happen. This book is well written, and very informative. It contains the "every running book" chapters on nutrition, injury, and has some strength training exercises and flexibility stretches included.

The running schedules are detailed and specific and include programs for beginners to advanced for halfs, marathons and BQs. But the complicated equations are just too much trouble for me to figure out. For example, I'm supposed to do this on the first run of week nine: "2x(6x400) (90sec RI); (2 min 30 sec RI between sets)". By week nine I am already juggling work, home and family and I can't be bothered to 1. figure out what it means and 2. spend fifteen minutes setting my watch. So, this book is great for running geeks but not for people with busy lives.

Number Nine

  

The Illegal, by Lawrence Hill (of The Book of Negroes fame), is not a running manual and has no clever tips for runners. It is a novel, set in a futuristic African country, about a runner who has to make life-and-death decisions that revolve around his running talents and how they are used. Tired after your long run? Laid up with an injury? Read this!

Number Eight

This entertaining book follows the author around the world as he explores what makes us run. He is a professor of English literature so the book is literate and fun. Slightly uppity at times, almost making you feel evilly happy when his marathon time ends up being five hours (he made a comment about middle-aged women runners at some point in the book). But a fun ride and worth reading if you get a chance.

Number Seven

This is a little gem of a book is a collection of essays by philosophers who run or runners who philosophize. "Long-Distance Running and the Will to Power" is the first essay. There are essays on pain; running and the existential conundrum; running and freedom; passion and marathons (and how a zombie could not run a marathon); and a philosopher's argument for running to music. If you think, run, and read then this book is for you!

Number Six

  

I picked this up in a little second hand bookstore, along with George Orwell's Brave New World. I was six weeks away from my first marathon and I was reading everything I could. This book is for the regular person who wants to run a marathon, and it's good: friendly, down-to-earth, and packed with some great tips. I found the training plans a little too cerebral (heart rate, intensity rate, percentages ... can't do 'em ... but someone less impatient than me would enjoy them!). It's a fun book to have around.

Number Five

 

I had read about this book and I really wanted to read it. So one day I was at our lovely huge library downtown, and I decided I would get it. The catalogue said it was available. It was winter; I was wearing my winter coat and boots and carrying a heavy backpack. I ran up the three flights of stairs to the stacks and looked for my book. I went and asked the librarian, who said it should be there. Went back and searched. She looked it up, came and searched. By now I was in a full-blown winter gear sweat and feeling stressed. Haha, no mindfulness there! A few days later, a customer brought a copy in to my cafe for me to read. Patience is a virtue! The book is a great read, and tells the author's story while speaking of Buddhist meditation, western business, and running marathons with a mindful approach.

Number Four

Runner's World published this book about ten years ago, but it is still relevant and super informative for us women runners. It has chapters on your regular runner's issues: training, FAQs, moving forward from a beginners to an intermediate runner, and racing. But the beauty of the book is its specific tips and insights into running as a woman: safety, balancing our busy lives, running during the childbearing year, the older woman, running and adolescence, body image, nutrition are all topics that we as women runners are interested in, and we can find answers in this great book. Every woman runner wants a running buddy like this one!

Number Three

I wanted this book. I wanted something that would light a fire under my lazy runner's block soul and get me out there again. I was feeling bad after my first marathon. Very bad. I was a grand total of 61 years old, I'd been running seriously for about five years, and I did my first marathon in 5:34 and I felt so disappointed in myself! BooHoo!! So I wanted to straighten myself out and I thought this book could help.

Yes, I can swear with the rest of them, in a couple of different languages even. But I don't like unnecessary cursing. They just put F*UCK on the cover to get people's attention, and I think that's stupid. So, I covered my copy with a pretty race bib:

Simon Marshall is a physician and professor of sports and exercise psychology. He is married to endurance athlete Lesley Paterson, and between the two of them they have produced an excellent book. Marshall explains how the athlete's brain works, during training, during racing and afterwards. He has filled the book with interactive exercises, tips, suggestions and hard-ass advice for us all, whether you are a runner with Imposter Syndrome, or a triathlon athlete who wants to get better at their game.

Did it light my fire? Yes! I am back on track. Most importantly, it helped me understand why I was feeling so down and what to do about it next time.

Number Two

An amazing story that traces our ability to run, and explores what makes humans different from all other animals: we are born to run! Read the book and find out how and why.

Number One

Everyone should read this book! It's written by a champion, but she doesn't talk down to us lowly back-of-the-packers. Her story, and her struggles, and her triumphs come alive on the page. Her attitude and her focus teach everyone about the advantages of keeping a positive attitude. This book can change your life!




So much more to read! Suggestions?

Three Things I Learned From my First Marathon (and didn't expect to!)

I learned a lot from running my first marathon. I spoke about it here. But there were three things I learned from my first marathon that I didn't expect!

Running a marathon isn’t easy. Ever. It’s not supposed to be. Some would say it’s the hardest of all the races: a half marathon is definitely doable – run for one to three hours and you’re done. An ultra is longer (much longer!) but you can take little breaks. But a marathon is 26.2 miles of pushing yourself to get your best time in a long, long distance. I learned three things running my first marathon that I didn't expect to.

I thought I would learn stuff from the process. Like, how determined I can be (very, it turns out). I started a 26-week training program in November and trained through the whole winter, and winter was a doozy.

I ran outside in frigid temperatures. I did my last long runs in April, when I still had ice crystals snapping at my face. I ate well. I went to bed early and did my runs, even on the treadmill if I had to.

I learned about how fast I am. I’m kind of average, for my age (my marathon time was 13 minutes slower than the average woman 60-69). I learned how great it feels to beat your PR: one of my training runs was a 21 k so I decided to run the Hypothermic Half and beat my PR by 7 minutes! I learned how it feels to run a marathon. It feels good, hard, inspiring, and a little daunting.

An unexpected bonus to this achievement was a sense of accomplishment that lasts. I don't feel self-conscious about my body; my shyness level has gone down; I feel more self-confident, because I know that I can run 26.2 miles.

I also learned a whole lot more that I really wasn’t expecting.

The Three Unexpected Lessons I Learned (and some philosophical ponderings)

1. Running is Life

I didn’t know. I didn’t understand the extent that my daily, lived experiences mattered to the outcome of my race. I learned that you can’t separate what happens to you: to your body, your mind, your emotions; you can’t separate your experience from your running being.

In that sense, as a midwife, I see more and more that the act of running a race is so much like the act of giving birth. When a woman gives birth, she is the product of everything that has happened to her up until the moment she births her child. How she gives birth is hugely affected by her life experiences up until that moment. Of course, in life there are random exterior factors like a grumpy nurse, a blister, bad weather, or an unforeseen birth complication. But generally, in my experience, the way that birth unfolds is pretty much a continuation of how that person’s life has unfolded up until now.

And, of course, time and existence being what it is, everything that has happened up until now is also happening now, so how I am reacting to the “now” and to the past, and to everything I have experienced or I am now experiencing, also blends into my experience as a whole; how it unfolds, and also how I feel about it unfolding (which in turn affects the “how”). So in birth, I can be terrified and traumatized by past events, and I can let those events dictate how I will feel during the primal experience of giving birth. With the right support, and a sprinkling of luck, that fear and trauma can be transcended. But without support, education and training, the main emotion throughout the experience will be fear and that will color the memory of the experience and the experience itself.

Racing is Birthing?

But I didn’t give birth; I just ran a marathon! Yes, true (I did give birth actually, five times). Obviously giving birth to another human is more primal, more important, more useful than running 26.2 miles. But the dynamic is the same. Everything I had experienced up to and including the race profoundly affected the race, my feelings about it, my body, and my ability to succeed.

The Nitty-Gritty?

Okay, here’s the nitty-gritty: the story that must be told so that you can figure out what I’m really talking about. My training went okay. I started in November and dutifully crossed the days off as the winter progressed. I felt good. I was getting faster, or at least I was feeling stronger. I got a little time out of the cold in January, went away for a week to a runner’s paradise – Lisbon. By March my long runs were increasing and by early April I was starting to feel tired. Not tired, well yes tired but just “blah”. Like, blah about training. Blah about everything. I spoke to a trainer and she rewrote my program a little, added some longer runs, suggested I do timed runs instead of distance for the really long ones, suggested a taper (that’s when you start running less as you enter the last two to three weeks before your race). I felt a little nervous after I spoke to her. “Can I really do this?” “Am I gonna finish in six hours???”

Mid-April, things were starting to turn against me. I run a café, it’s amazing, business started to boom like never before (Yay!). I was up at 6:30 every morning to open, and my runs were after work with a long run on Sunday.

I was dealing with some emotional issues during the last weeks of April. I couldn’t shake them; felt sad, down, and fatigued. I know that May is my sad month. I have no idea why. Do y’all feel this way at a certain time of year? But I kept training, and kept doing my long runs.

I fell apart during the taper, filling up the time that I spared from doing long runs with extra busy work at home and at the café. I stayed up late on weekend nights even though I didn’t want to. I started feeling physically sick and missed a really fun race (WingsforLife) because I couldn’t get out of bed and make it down there. And because I figured I’d be the oldest person there, and everyone else would be French (Google language issues Montreal).

I still didn’t get it. I uber-organized. Booked the Airbnb, the flights, planned the food for the weekend. By the time I got on the plane, I was exhausted. I slept the hour flight. Coming down the stairs at the airport I tripped and almost fell. When I got to our place, I realized I hadn’t packed warm enough clothing (luckily Mother Nature smiled the day of the race and my gear was perfect for the weather). I was so tired I spent Friday night and Saturday in a daze. Sunday morning I got dressed and headed to the race. I wore my hydration pack, just like on my training runs. In the back of my head was the rationale that if the water stands closed down I would still have water. The race limit was six hours; of course I would have water!

As I started my race, I put on my music (just one earbud, like they said). I just didn’t get into the groove. Not one of my favourite tracks was getting me going; in fact looking back I don’t remember any super fun moments from that race. Of course, I remember with huge gratitude and love when my husband met me at the halfway mark, and when he greeted me at the finish line with flowers (it was Mother’s Day). And when my sister rode what seemed like a huge bicycle up the trail and cheered me on for my last four miles. But for every other race, and many of my runs, I can hear a song and remember exactly where I was running when that song bounced into my head. Not for this race. Not one.

Which leads me to my next lesson: Body is Mind

2. Body is Mind

I learned that you can’t just train your body and ignore your mind. We don’t understand how every single thought and feeling dips into our physical existence. But it does. I felt fit. I felt strong. I felt capable. But I was planning to wear my hydration pack, just in case. Somewhere in me was a thought, or a doubt, that I would be so slow that I needed to carry extra water. Emotionally, I was sad. I was spinning in tired circles wondering about how to be a better person. I wasn’t feeling bold and strong emotionally or mentally. I was feeling tired, run-down, and in need of a vacation from everything.

So what happened when I started running my first marathon? I had been spinning in such worried little circles that by the time I was ready to run, my mind switched off and stopped working for me. In a good race, your mind and your emotions do fifty percent of the work. You feel good, you run well; you feel better; you run better. Your music is right; everything feels good. You are on top of the world; you run straight and tall. Your breathing comes naturally, your shoulders are relaxed, your gait is fast and natural.

My mind switched off because it couldn’t stay on and run a race. I was too full of questions and worries: work, home, family. Nothing could quieten my scrabbling mind so it decided to check out. And what was I left with? My body! And, of course, it could run a marathon. I ran the distance. I plodded to the finish line. My shoulders drooped, my legs wouldn’t move right, my spirits were low, but I did it!

Now I know that physical training is not enough. I have to train my mind and my emotions to work with me and for me when I run. And when that is happening, then another wonderful thing happens. Life itself gets better! When I will myself to run tall and listen to my breath, I feel better and I can run better. When I change a feeling of resentment or anger into one of gratitude or love, I feel better and I run better. When I start to practice these transformations so that I run better, they naturally spill over into my life. It’s pretty easy for me to feel really good about the time I ran – I’m 61, I’ve been running seriously for about four years, and I did my first marathon in 5:34. Yay! It was harder the other day when I felt like my husband was being controlling. I started to feel resentful, then I switched it around in my head and started to feel grateful that he was organizing the thing instead of me having to. And of course I felt better, he felt better, and I’m sure our feelings ran in our blood to make our bodies better and stronger.

So, life influences running influences life. The mind and emotions are deeply and profoundly caught in our bodies. But just knowing this and being able to write about it and do it aren’t enough:

3. Training Really Counts!

No matter how great I’m feeling, even if I’ve managed to completely eliminate negative feelings, train my mind to work for me and my emotions not to jeopardize me, I still need to train right.

This just means that you have to find a program and follow it. Find a program that works for you, or if you can afford it and you need it, then get yourself a trainer who can personally help you reach your goal. Once you’ve found your program, stick with it, and do exactly what it says. Speed work is speed work. Track work is track work. Do the work that you are told to do – it will make a huge difference. Strength training is also something that its easy to forget about, especially if you don’t have time and you’re already putting so much time into your runs. But it’s essential to help your body move through those final miles with grace and speed.

Most importantly, train yourself to have fun when the going gets tough. For my first marathon, the going got tough way before I even started, so I was running into a headwind made up of my own emotional fatigue. Love every minute of it; teach yourself how to experience joy even when your run is hard. You’ll see; joy will spread.

Can Mrs Tiggywinkle run a marathon?

Almost There!

Last night I ran my 101st run in my 26 week marathon training. I want to run a marathon. There's no instant gratification! It's a lot of running. A lot of miles. A lot of time on my own to think about life.

Mrs. Tiggywinkle is my favourite Beatrix Potter character, and I think she might be my spirit animal. I think I look like her. When I run past a window, I look sideways and there she is. She's patient, kind and lovable, all the things I want to be. She's also prickly and stubborn, the things I know I am.

But have I trained enough to run a marathon?

Marathons are like life, you never know what's going to happen until its happening. I'm ready, and that's all I can be. There's flooding happening in Fredericton, where for some weird reason about 18 months ago I decided to run my first marathon, so they changed the course. I studied the old course, and street-viewed it obsessively. Now it's different. Yip.

What if I...

am the last person to finish?

don't finish?

die?

Those are the only things I'm worried about. Other than that, all good. I have my outfit picked out, my lucky hanky packed, food, a water backpack (in case I really am the last person!) ... shoes, socks... damn I am good to go! I am gonna run a marathon!

How will I get through it?

First of all, by running. It's easy enough, you just put one foot down then the other one. Remember to breathe.

The fact that I even got to the point where I am heading for the starting line is a huge deal - the work has been done.

I have some inspiration and mental tricks to keep me going.

When I'm running for a long time, I often think of my family and I feel very grateful that all my guys are behind me. Haha, not literally. My kids and my husband have always been super supportive, if a little bored at times when I talk endlessly of pace and distance.

I have two wonderful people who are my inspiration. Perse has been my friend for 51 years!!! She is an athlete, a coach, a mother, wife, grandmother, and a cancer survivor. When I think of her endurance, strength, cheerfulness in the face of obstacles, stubbornness ... all the best qualities an athlete needs, I am humbled.

And my cousin Becky. She was born with a body that doesn't listen to her brain. Becky works so hard physically just to live her life. She's cheerful, stubborn, and tough. When she's working her way down a flight of stairs, she needs the strength and power that I need to run a marathon, and she needs it every single moment of every day. She is my absolute hero.

And I would like to thank ...

My friends, my running buddies, my Facebook running group, God for giving me a healthy body, some special people who have given me their time and attention to help me train better... the awful Montreal weather that has allowed me to be proud of training in sub-zero temperatures, week after week ...

Running Mantras?

Light. Run light. Tall and light. Just plain light.

You can do this! (simple and cliched but it works)

Love, Gratitude, Compassion. Can I feel love for it? Can I feel gratitude for it? Can I feel compassion?

If all else fails, I tell myself in a loud inner voice that I can FUCKING CRUSH THIS THING.

See y'all down the road!

Keep on running, or walking, or just living. Remember, you got this thing!

My Personal Best: Training for A Marathon

The Hypothermic?

A couple of weeks ago I ran a race aptly titled the Hypothermic Half Marathon. I'm training for a marathon now, and I'm well past the half-way mark, and my long runs are long ... so I figured I would like some company for this one, so I registered and ran.

It was fun! I chopped nine minutes off my previous Half Marathon speed (2:24:21 from 2:33:31 if you're interested). I had a hoot! I started off right next to the 2:30 bunny but I realized I was able to go faster and steadier on my own, so I did! But a couple of other women in my category ran faster than me, so I ended up third. But as the oldest woman in the race (over 500 people) I did well.

So? Why do I do this? Why do I run and train and sweat, and then write about it?

Reasons Why I Am Training For A Marathon

One main reason: because I CAN. And don't get me wrong, I'm not ignoring those who CAN'T. In fact, I think about them every day. I think about my cousin Becky, whose every day must be a marathon. I think about the Syrians I met last year, who spend their time figuring out how to rebuild their lives. I think about women everywhere who are too scared, too sick, too busy, too sad to go outside and play, and I've decided, after a lifetime of dedication to caring for and helping those less privileged than I, that I am gonna run to my heart's content, and hope that my happiness fills the world and makes it a better place. (Check this out if you really want to make a difference!)

Other reasons too:

because, weirdly, running teaches me about life. Training for a marathon actually shows me how better to live my life. How does that work? I have a goal these days, and that it to run 26 miles FAST. To get there, to succeed, I have to plan. I have to be determined, and dedicated, and disciplined. I have to sleep, eat, and drink right. I have to do my short runs and my long run every week, without fail, unless I'm injured or sick.

And how on earth do I do that?

With a cafe to run, a family to care for, a house to keep clean, and an online business to grow (so that I can start my nomad life in a few years, but more on that in a bit). Oh, and did I mention I'm hosting a Retreat this summer? So, yes, training for a marathon has allowed me to understand that there's one thing that makes the difference, given that the physical playing field remains the same (I am not sick, injured, or living in a dangerous place, or without food), and that is my attitude. The way I look at my life, or my training, or my family, husband, my cafe, my running buddies, even my dog, or my bank account ... the way I look at everything colours how I can perform. Not just at a race, but behind the counter at my cafe, on the phone with a student, hanging out on the couch with my husband.

Zen of Running?

What is this magical way, then, Yoda? It is the way of the run: to take one step after the first, and then the next and the next. To be fully conscious of the steps, of the way your body moves, how it fits into the space around it. Is my body tall and light? Am I crouching down? What is hurting? How can I fix it? Where is my breath? I need to breath slowly and surely ... in ... out ... in ... step ... step ... step ...

This weird and frivolous hobby has taught me that to be in the moment and to love what you are doing when you're in it, is the key to happiness.

Other reasons why I am Training for a Marathon: I love how my legs are getting bigger and bigger.

Secret Club

Also, I have discovered a secret club that I am now a member of. It's the club of other people like me who love to run. We love to play, and speed our bodies around town or country. It's a club where, even though I'm 61, and I don't wear Lululemon, and I don't go that fast ... when I pass a runner in Montreal, Toronto, Lisbon, Italy .... Greece ... we give each other the secret nod and let each other know we know. It's a club where I can chat about long run nutrition for at least a half hour to someone I've never met.

And don't forget the bling! When I'm running a race, people I don't know high-five me. "You got this! Oui, Madame!" At the end, I get my lovely medal, and feel great, and that sense of accomplishment fills my heart. I know I've done something. Nothing too controversial, or too demanding, like getting involved with refugee politics, or being a midwife, or trying to change the world. Just a race, one step at a time, one breath at a time, one smile at a time.

How to run a half marathon: running mama's guide.

"Can you get a bus for part of it?"

No, you can't get a bus. You have to do the distance. That's what the fun part is. So, what's the plan? How do I run a half marathon? First of all, why would I even want to? Don't bother if you're not motivated. Why would you? But if you've started running and you really like it, and you think you might want to run a race, here's how:

A IS FOR ATTITUDE: you gotta have it. No attitude, no race. See this lady here?
She has attitude. She's been saying to herself, ya, I can do this.

B IS FOR BEST: here's the key - when you run, whether it's a mile, a 5 k, or an ultra, you are running your Personal Best. That means that you are not competing against anyone except yourself. Don't kid yourself, you're not an elite, and if you're reading this article, you'll probably never be one. So, when you run, you want to do YOUR VERY BEST. That is, your best for the day. The best you can even though you are tired, feeling sad, hungover, in a rush to get to work, whatever. That's the BEAUTY of the BEAST.

C IS FOR CLOTHING. Find some clothes you like to run in, and wear them. Essentials: good shoes (see "S"); a good bra if you need one; socks that don't chafe; comfy underwear. If you're running in the heat, wear clothing that lets you sweat. In the cold, check this out:

Remember, you don't need the latest most expensive gear! You should save your pennies for a good pair of shoes, and that's it. I've picked up some great running gear at my local thrift shop!

D is for Distance. Whether you're running your first mile, your first five k, or your first marathon, you will put every ounce of effort into it and get the same sense of satisfaction from it. I remember when I ran my first five kilometers without walking. I was so proud! This May I hope to run my first Marathon ... more on that to come ... maybe one day I will run the original Marathon!

E is for effort. It ain't always easy being a runner. Take today, for instance. I was supposed to run with my buddies at 6:30. I really want to get this post finished - and I came home from work to lots of unfinished housework, and I have to cook dinner and shop and ... will I make the effort to tie on my shoes and run? I hope so!

F is for Fartleks. Basically, this funny word means that you play around with your speed. So when you are doing a long run, change it around by running at full speed for a short distance. It helps your body build strength and adjust to different paces.

G is for Goals - what are your running goals today? This week? What is your ultimate running goal? I would love to run an ultra one day ... Figure out your goal and work towards it, one step at a time.

H is for Hamstrings. You should stretch after a run, if you feel tightness or you are healing from a previous injury. Here is my favourite ten-minute post run stretch: the Mogul Muncher.

I is for Injuries. They happen! Running is a little unusual for the human body, especially on sidewalks. I've had an IT band issue, and some Plantar's Fasciitis. I sorted my IT band - I did exercises that strengthened my hips and that did the trick. The Fasciitis, well, it's a struggle and I just have to be careful. You will have your own injury that haunts you - do your research, go to a sports clinic if you can, and most importantly, REST when you are in pain. I also use Arnica homeopathic tablets or cream (Boiron).

J is for Joy: You gotta love it! If you're not enjoying it, do something else. I'm not saying that you have to love that feeling at 2k when you wish you had slept better, or at 14 k when you feel you're going too slow, or at 5k when you really have to pee. But if you're not having fun overall, then running's not for you. Get happy!

K is for Knees. Be careful with your knees, and if you start getting pain, look into it right away. ITBS will give you a very specific pain on the outside of your knee. Other knee injuries can be related to ill-fitting shoes or poor form. Don't run through the pain! Have it looked at by someone who knows what they're doing, and then follow their instructions. For the immediate pain, I use ice, rest, ice cream (to feel better), and long hot bath soaks. 

L is for Long Runs. Long runs are a must when you are training to Run A Half Marathon or more. Do a long run every week. If you don't have a training plan, thats ok but make sure you do one long run every week, until about two weeks before the race, and reduce your distances. You don't have to run longer than 22 kilometers but do try to do that at least once, about a month our from your race.

M is for Medals. I love getting my medal!

N is for Nike, the goddess of victory. Running isn't about victory over other people - ok, it would be amazing to be first. At least first in my age group... sigh ... But the real Victory is over yourself. 

O is for Orgasms, of course. Does your sex life get better when you run? Start running and find out!

P is for Pee. Yes, it's one of the very rare times when I wish I was a boy. They can pee anywhere. I have finally figured out how not to have to pee during a half marathon: hydrate gradually through the week before your race. Drink 3-4 litres of water a day, more if its hot weather. Don't drink too much the morning of. Don't drink coffee the morning of. And practice control. Just tell yourself you actually don't have to pee. Forget about it. You are usually losing enough water through sweating that in fact you don't really have to pee. If you do, try going commando or wear pants, shorts or a skirt with built-in briefs so you don't waste precious race time with your knickers in a twist.

Q is for Quality. If you discover that running has become yet another chore that you have to stick into your busy day, then stop for a while and pick it up again (soon!!) when you feel less stressed about it. Running time should be quality time.

R is for Rest. If you love to run, that doesn't mean you have to overdo it. Your body needs to rest. Take at least one day a week and rest - don't run - especially if you are an older runner like me (well I'm not ninety yet but 61 counts!).

S is for Shoes. Find yourself a good pair of running shoes - get an expert to help you. I ran with Minimalist for a few years and loved them! Then my feet started to hurt a little and I went with Sayonara Wave ... but you have to choose the shoes that feel good for you.

T is for Training. Find a training plan if you want to Run A Half Marathon. There are lots of them everywhere on the internet. Runkeeper has some good ones that are free.  If you don't want to "train", then don't! Just run to your heart's content.

U is for Us. I am so happy I have running buddies. We run together, stick together, and have fun together. We talk about work, life, relationships, kids, or we just run ... and then there are my running buddies who don't actually run. They just meet me at the finish line!

V is for Victory!!!

W is for Water. So important to drink water! Every day, even if you're not a runner. But if you're running, make sure you drink 8-10 glasses a day, and if you run for longer than an hour make sure you carry water or you know where the drinking fountains are on your route (not if its below zero ... )

X is for X-country. Also known as trail running. This is super fun, and a completely different type of running. Remember to wear good shoes, know where you're going, and stay safe.

Y is for You! Just put your shoes on, open the door, and step outside. Its a wonderful world out there!

Z is for the Zen of running. When I run, I feel calm. Its my way of meditating. I hope it can become yours too!

 Run A Half Marathon!