She's Too Radical

When I look in the mirror these days I see a caricature of Mrs. Tiggywinkle. My body changed over the past ten years. Even though I still run four kilometers three or four times a week, and I feel quite fit, more or less, my shoulders have changed shape, my waist has thickened, my grey hair is down to my bum but no one ever sees it because I wrap it in a scarf, and...well, I feel different.

Mrs Tiggywinkle, however, is a laundress. She is an independent female: round in shape, granted, and she is a little perhaps neurotic, but she takes care of herself, of her small house, does other people's laundry AND makes friend with a little girl in distress.

And she's got fearsome prickles.

Is she radical?

I met a prospective client the other day. Lovely woman, nice partner. She had heard about me through one of the long grapevines that eventually lead my way. I'm not big on advertising, publicity, I never wanted to be on Oprah, and I don't have a fan club. So people usually hear about me from other women in a round about way.

But this lady had gone through a list of doulas in Montreal, found them wanting, and came to me. And she expressed one doubt, which was that I may be "too radical".

Radical has its root from root: from Late Latin "radicalis" ("of or pertaining to the root, having roots, radical"), and from Latin radix (“root”).
And the definition is: Favouring fundamental change, or change at the root cause of a matter. 

What is the root cause of the birth matter? I believe the root cause of abusive maternity care shares its root with woman abuse in every aspect of our lives. So, in "favouring fundamental change", I am going to go to the root of the matter. I am not going to spout empty slogans and run other women's lives according to my agenda.

The root of birth abuse is a culturally useful and familiar disrespect for women in general, and for birthing women in particular. If I am going to practice as a radical doula, then my priority will be respecting the birthing woman. To this end, I will not persuade her to make choices that conform to me agenda. Ever.




The woman I met may have been imagining a furie, a Roman goddess of vengeance, guarding the door of the birth room with an eye to exacting payment for past wrongs.

The furie would insist that the woman follow her rules: no interventions, under any circumstances; upright positions throughout; lots of vocalizing required; partner hands-on at all times.







But radical doulas are not furies. We respect the desires of the women we accompany. We melt our egos and support the woman's choices. Our agendas stay at home. We are just and fair, possibly to a fault. It is a fine line between supporting a woman during childbirth and feeling like you are witnessing, indeed apologizing for, an abusive act that should be named. But in the naming, the birth process is damaged. Our role is to bear witness, to take notes, and to love the one you're with.

Birth Witness

Montreal Birth Companions is an organization that serves about sixty women a year. We provide doula services for the poorest of Montreal's women - the refugees, no-status women, and very recent immigrants. We have been active in Montreal for almost ten years, without funding, and without office space. The volunteers are either trained doulas, or doula students, matched carefully with the women they serve.

We have seen our share of disrespect and abuse in the maternity care world here in Montreal, and we are now initiating a project which hopefully will be the beginning of a constructive dialogue.

We are gathering stories from women, which are about instances during their birth experiences where they felt uncomfortable or maltreated. 

We are not out to vilify obstetricians. Our goal is to help to create an environment within which a woman who will be going to the hospital to give birth can be secure that she is treated with respect, whatever her language, colour, marital status, financial level, or whether or not she has healthcare coverage.

We believe that a woman, any woman, has the right to be told what her options are; to be asked permission before she is touched; to be spoken to with respect.

We believe that the attending caregivers, whether they are doulas, midwives, nurses or physicians, have the responsibility to care wisely for their patients. This responsibility includes providing information, asking permission, and exercising cultural sensitivity. 

MBC volunteers have witnessed physicians loudly scolding women without health coverage, as their baby's head is crowning, about their financial mess. I have personally witnessed an OB who made an overtly sexual remark about a vaginal pack. I need to remind residents that it is not okay to rupture a woman's membranes without telling her, just because your hand is in her vagina. I myself pushed my agenda on a woman who was heading for what I considered to be an unnecessary cesarean section, resulting in her feeling betrayed and angry instead of happy about her birth.

We need to talk about this abuse loud and clear. We are not suggesting that every woman in Canada must have a natural birth. We are suggesting that we start to create a system where the woman is at the centre, surrounded by respectful attendants.