Sieze the Day!

I am literally surrounded by nature. I’m gazing at my laurel tree that we transplanted a few years ago – check out this hilarious YouTube post! The trees are making a soft sound in the breeze. My handmade wood chime is also singing softly. The wild hollyhocks are just starting to bloom; my rose is in full flower; all around me are medicinal herbs feeding the honey bees and waiting for me to harvest them, or not.

I sleep so well here! Okay, I can sleep well sitting on a chair in a crowded waiting room! Nevertheless, sleep comes easily and is filled with pleasant and sometimes profound dreams.
The other night, we watched the full moon rise and we realized Mars was visible just below it. We set up the telescope and wow! There it was, a beautiful orange planet.

The trails here surround our house, which is high in the hills at 875 metres above sea level. We are safe here: if you go for a run or a leisurely walk you probably won’t see anyone unless it is the old lady from down the road looking for mushrooms. You will see abandoned stone houses, set deep in the chestnut groves, deer running on the trails ahead of you, birds everywhere.

I am inviting you to join me here this summer. Retreat 2018 runs from July 24-31. I have a group arriving on the 23rd and I have space for two more women. Send me an email at mbcdoulaschoolatgmaildotcom for more details.

Come and find peace! Seize the day!

5 Tips For Running (and enjoying!) Your First Marathon

Last Mother's Day, I ran a marathon!

What an accomplishment! I trained for 26 weeks, hard. I ran when it was raining, snowing, ice pelleting, and in between. I didn't drink (too much). I watched my diet (I ate instead of forgetting to eat). Maybe I was boring. But I ran a marathon (that's 42.195 kilometers). My first marathon!

I learned a lot from this experience. From Day One of training way back in November, to right now, I have been learning about determination, strength, and flexibility, among other things. Here are five tips to share with anyone who's interested in training for and running their first marathon.

1. Take Your Taper Seriously

Most marathon or half-marathon training plans include a taper at the end of the training. For a marathon, my training plan suggested a three week taper after my longest run. During this time, your mileage per week decreases, your frequency of runs decreases, and you are supposed to eat well, keep hydrated, and rest especially during the last week.

Did I do a successful taper? Not really. I decreased my running frequency and mileage too much, because I was plagued with minor ailments. I put that time instead into work and home, instead of resting. Have a look at your taper plan, and follow exactly what it says!

Half your training is physical, and half is mental. If you're super fit but stressed and inflexible, then you may be able to finish the race but you will do yourself harm. If you float on self-confidence, but you haven't done the physical work, then you're not gonna finish.

What does "rest" mean? Well, it doesn't mean stressing that your life is not as serene as you would like it to be. But it does mean getting to bed early, cutting out all unnecessary activities, and increase any activity you find relaxing and energizing. During that crucial last week, try to spend time every day organizing your race. Which leads me to the second tip:

2. The Devil in the Details

My family was teasing me that I was totally obsessing over the details, but I don't think I was precise enough! As they say, the devil in the details, which means that there's always some little thing that can potentially go wrong. And you really do not want to spend your whole race wishing you had brought your favourite pair of socks.

First things first, though. Choose your race wisely! Things to consider: location, cost (registration, travel and accommodation), type of race course (hills, flat, urban, rural), size of the race, speed (look at the results from former years to see if you will fit in the middle or you'll be right at the back of the pack).

Make lists! This site has lots of lists, plans and other tools for runners: All About Marathon Training.

If you're traveling for your race, you have to figure out what to take with you. Take all your running clothes!! You do not know what the weather will be like, and you don't want to leave something behind (I did, but not a super important thing). Take your race nutrition and whatever you use for hydration. Take your lucky charms, if you're superstitious. I brought my lucky hanky, which I got from my pocket at around mile 20 to wipe my face with.

I found an Airbnb for myself and my husband, which was super conveniently located right next to the race start. But you might want the buzz of staying with other runners, in the sponsored hotel. Think about it before you book.

Plan your meals carefully before the race. If you're travelling, you may want to take food with you, or at least make sure what you usually eat will be available.

I chose to wear my hydration backpack, and also my waist belt for my iPhone because that's how I did all my long runs, and I was happy I did. If you love to listen to music while you run, make sure you have it set up for yourself and have a good playlist. You don't want to be fiddling with controls or asking Siri to skip a song you don't like. Here's my playlist: running. I just wear an earbud in one ear for most of my long runs, which is fine. I brought raisins to munch on, and HoneyStinger energy chews, because I really don't like gels or Gatorade. I took water every chance I could.

Remember to plan for after the race too! You will want to change, shower, eat and drink water. And the worst thing you can do is sit down right away - you will feel it! Keep gently moving, eat lots, drink LOTS of water, and go to bed early.

3. Gratitude is the Key

I had to use my sense of gratitude quite a few times during this run. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't really fun. I was grateful every minute though, for the beauty I found myself in, for the support from my family and friends, for my body ... and gratitude helped me finish.

I read a fantastic article about Desiree Lindon's amazing Boston victory. The race was tough, with many of the elites dropping out from the cold and rain. What jumped out at me in this story was her generosity and kindness towards her fellow runners. Yes, she won, and yes, her competitive spirit helped her win. But during the race, she helped out her fellow runners a couple of times. I thought of her when I was looping back for my second loop, and a runner asked me if I'd passed a porta-potty. No, I hadn't. I stopped and told her I'd cover while she went in the bushes. It just took a few seconds - and then I was on my way - and running way faster! Caring for your fellow humans is definitely a good option.

4. Stay in the Moment

I wrote in my last post about some ways I thought I would be able to achieve my goal. They worked! I used the mantra "light" many times during the run. Of course, the beautiful light on the water right next to me really helped with that. I tried to love my run, and that worked until I got to a hard place where it didn't any more. I practiced compassion: every so often I would pass a runner who was kind of moaning or grunting with every step. I felt compassion for the assholes who yelled from a van "Good Job, Keep Going, Happy Suicide!". Sheesh.

Mile 24

But mostly I discovered that running a marathon is really about staying in the moment. You can't think about all those miles you have to run; it's not useful. You have to run the actual mile you're running, as best as you possibly can. Breathe the air, step one foot after the other, have a handful of raisins. Drink some water. Keep on running. Try to run fast. If you can't run fast, then just run.

 5. Have Fun!

But most of all, be happy! Have fun! Keeping a smile on your face is so important. And that goes for living life, as well as for running marathons. Don't sweat the time, for your first marathon. It's a huge achievement just to finish. My memorable moments were: seeing all the coltsfoot growing along the water's edge. Running next to a beautiful river. Being completely on my own for a while on the trail. Having everyone ring their bells and yell positive things at me every time I passed a water station or a volunteer. Talking to another runner and listening to her advice for me. Seeing my sister on a large bicycle at around mile 22, and having her accompany me almost to the finish line. Finishing the race! And getting a bunch of roses from my husband.

Running's just like living: you gotta be happy with what you have, stay in the moment, practise gratitude, compassion and love, and keep on keeping on.

Can Mrs Tiggywinkle run a marathon?

Almost There!

Last night I ran my 101st run in my 26 week marathon training. I want to run a marathon. There's no instant gratification! It's a lot of running. A lot of miles. A lot of time on my own to think about life.

Mrs. Tiggywinkle is my favourite Beatrix Potter character, and I think she might be my spirit animal. I think I look like her. When I run past a window, I look sideways and there she is. She's patient, kind and lovable, all the things I want to be. She's also prickly and stubborn, the things I know I am.

But have I trained enough to run a marathon?

Marathons are like life, you never know what's going to happen until its happening. I'm ready, and that's all I can be. There's flooding happening in Fredericton, where for some weird reason about 18 months ago I decided to run my first marathon, so they changed the course. I studied the old course, and street-viewed it obsessively. Now it's different. Yip.

What if I...

am the last person to finish?

don't finish?

die?

Those are the only things I'm worried about. Other than that, all good. I have my outfit picked out, my lucky hanky packed, food, a water backpack (in case I really am the last person!) ... shoes, socks... damn I am good to go! I am gonna run a marathon!

How will I get through it?

First of all, by running. It's easy enough, you just put one foot down then the other one. Remember to breathe.

The fact that I even got to the point where I am heading for the starting line is a huge deal - the work has been done.

I have some inspiration and mental tricks to keep me going.

When I'm running for a long time, I often think of my family and I feel very grateful that all my guys are behind me. Haha, not literally. My kids and my husband have always been super supportive, if a little bored at times when I talk endlessly of pace and distance.

I have two wonderful people who are my inspiration. Perse has been my friend for 51 years!!! She is an athlete, a coach, a mother, wife, grandmother, and a cancer survivor. When I think of her endurance, strength, cheerfulness in the face of obstacles, stubbornness ... all the best qualities an athlete needs, I am humbled.

And my cousin Becky. She was born with a body that doesn't listen to her brain. Becky works so hard physically just to live her life. She's cheerful, stubborn, and tough. When she's working her way down a flight of stairs, she needs the strength and power that I need to run a marathon, and she needs it every single moment of every day. She is my absolute hero.

And I would like to thank ...

My friends, my running buddies, my Facebook running group, God for giving me a healthy body, some special people who have given me their time and attention to help me train better... the awful Montreal weather that has allowed me to be proud of training in sub-zero temperatures, week after week ...

Running Mantras?

Light. Run light. Tall and light. Just plain light.

You can do this! (simple and cliched but it works)

Love, Gratitude, Compassion. Can I feel love for it? Can I feel gratitude for it? Can I feel compassion?

If all else fails, I tell myself in a loud inner voice that I can FUCKING CRUSH THIS THING.

See y'all down the road!

Keep on running, or walking, or just living. Remember, you got this thing!

The Perfect Run? It's All in your Head!

The Perfect Run?

Does it exist? Of course it does! When you're out the door, on a beautiful day, with nothing to do but spend the next couple of hours running. Your shoes are perfectly tied, your clothes fit. It's a lovely warmish dry day. You didn't eat too much or too little, you have nothing to worry about ... you're in heaven! You're gonna have a perfect run!

Reboot.

Then there are those other runs, the ones from the dark side.

Yesterday I headed out for a long run - 3 3/4 hours worth - and I knew it wouldn't be good. I couldn't find the right clothes; my hair was itchy down my back; I realized way too late in the day I hadn't eaten enough, so I gobbled down some crusty toast and cashew butter just before leaving, and  tried to make a protein shake but I forgot to put the lid on properly, at least I was near the sink so when I shook it most of the explosion landed .... you get the picture. Anyway, I headed out and started putting those feet one after the other.

Reflections.

You know when you're running, and you feel pretty good, tall and svelte, running across a beautiful meadow in your mind? Then you catch a glimpse of yourself in a store window? That's right. There she was, Mrs. Tiggywinkle, bouncing along, with her pink bobble hat bouncing on top of her head. And she was going so slowly! She checked her watch. Yip. Going slow.

More Reflections.

Then I started talking to myself. I started trying to pull myself away from the gloom that had descended upon me over the past few days. The best way to do this, I find, is just to concentrate on the body. What's happening with my breath? Is my chest open? How are my shoulders? Is my torso straight? Hands relaxed by my sides? Is my jaw clenched? Head upright? How's my gait? Are my hips working well? How are my feet landing? That little knee pain I had, what's happening with that? How many steps am I taking per minute? They say 180 is good. For a while I run ...two...three...one ... two ... three ...all good.

Onward!

I decided I would run this 225 minute run in three stages: the first stage would be hills, up to "the mountain" and around there on the trails for a bit. I got there and there was still lots of snow. Staying on the roads and sidewalks was easier, so I lengthened the next leg and ran far, far into the east end of the city. The third leg was easier in a way: I knew I was going home and I knew I would achieve my time goal. But harder because I'm learning that at around the three-hour mark I get kind of bored with my own company, and my legs start to get a little heavy.

I had some fancy sports jelly-beans with me that helped with my energy level, and a nice backpack with water, so physically I was set. But mentally? Not good! My mind wouldn't stop burrowing around with this and that thought, and any time I would catch one of those squirrelly things, it would run away and then sneak up on me a couple of kilometres down the road. Thoughts of my finances, the cafe finances; my kids and if they are happy; my husband and our life together; the refugees I didn't really help much in Greece last year; why refugees anyway; why is there evil in the world, and I would remember to concentrate on my breath, my gait, my steps ... and have a little peace and then it would all start again.

The Triumphant Return

Anyhow, I ran home, stretched, ate a burger, and all was well.

Yes, reader, you guessed it.

I had a great week! Really! Okay, the cafe was packed (yay!), I had lots to do at home to prepare for Passover (yay!), I got my two short runs in and my cross-training (yoga - yay!), and then BOOM!

Friday afternoon I'm clearing my flowers (spring -yay!). I did a nice deep squat and could hardly get up - my knee!! So, RICE for the weekend, and no stairs, and no running, and no long run especially (it was gonna be four hours) ... and a lot of time to think.

Yes, "we are made of dreams and bones". Bones, muscles, fascia, all that physical stuff ... super important, especially when you're training to run a marathon. Also when you're giving birth, making love, eating...But the "dream" part - without that, we're nothing! If you don't have that dream, rather, if you allow yourself to grumble instead of dream; if you bring your unhappinesses  "along inside your soul", and let them drag behind you, then your body will suffer.

Lesson Learned?

The lesson I learned from my knee? Just as I check my water, phone for music, watch, that I'm wearing the right clothes for the weather, that I've had my last-minute pee and that I've eaten enough ... I need to check my mental state and throw my emotional garbage out before my long run. Because if I don't, it will grind away at my joints, crumple up my fascia, brittle down my cartilage and generally make a mess of things - the longer the run, the bigger the mess.

In life, as in birth work, as in running - leave your ego at the door, lace up, and go have fun! You will get your perfect run.

My Personal Best: Training for A Marathon

The Hypothermic?

A couple of weeks ago I ran a race aptly titled the Hypothermic Half Marathon. I'm training for a marathon now, and I'm well past the half-way mark, and my long runs are long ... so I figured I would like some company for this one, so I registered and ran.

It was fun! I chopped nine minutes off my previous Half Marathon speed (2:24:21 from 2:33:31 if you're interested). I had a hoot! I started off right next to the 2:30 bunny but I realized I was able to go faster and steadier on my own, so I did! But a couple of other women in my category ran faster than me, so I ended up third. But as the oldest woman in the race (over 500 people) I did well.

So? Why do I do this? Why do I run and train and sweat, and then write about it?

Reasons Why I Am Training For A Marathon

One main reason: because I CAN. And don't get me wrong, I'm not ignoring those who CAN'T. In fact, I think about them every day. I think about my cousin Becky, whose every day must be a marathon. I think about the Syrians I met last year, who spend their time figuring out how to rebuild their lives. I think about women everywhere who are too scared, too sick, too busy, too sad to go outside and play, and I've decided, after a lifetime of dedication to caring for and helping those less privileged than I, that I am gonna run to my heart's content, and hope that my happiness fills the world and makes it a better place. (Check this out if you really want to make a difference!)

Other reasons too:

because, weirdly, running teaches me about life. Training for a marathon actually shows me how better to live my life. How does that work? I have a goal these days, and that it to run 26 miles FAST. To get there, to succeed, I have to plan. I have to be determined, and dedicated, and disciplined. I have to sleep, eat, and drink right. I have to do my short runs and my long run every week, without fail, unless I'm injured or sick.

And how on earth do I do that?

With a cafe to run, a family to care for, a house to keep clean, and an online business to grow (so that I can start my nomad life in a few years, but more on that in a bit). Oh, and did I mention I'm hosting a Retreat this summer? So, yes, training for a marathon has allowed me to understand that there's one thing that makes the difference, given that the physical playing field remains the same (I am not sick, injured, or living in a dangerous place, or without food), and that is my attitude. The way I look at my life, or my training, or my family, husband, my cafe, my running buddies, even my dog, or my bank account ... the way I look at everything colours how I can perform. Not just at a race, but behind the counter at my cafe, on the phone with a student, hanging out on the couch with my husband.

Zen of Running?

What is this magical way, then, Yoda? It is the way of the run: to take one step after the first, and then the next and the next. To be fully conscious of the steps, of the way your body moves, how it fits into the space around it. Is my body tall and light? Am I crouching down? What is hurting? How can I fix it? Where is my breath? I need to breath slowly and surely ... in ... out ... in ... step ... step ... step ...

This weird and frivolous hobby has taught me that to be in the moment and to love what you are doing when you're in it, is the key to happiness.

Other reasons why I am Training for a Marathon: I love how my legs are getting bigger and bigger.

Secret Club

Also, I have discovered a secret club that I am now a member of. It's the club of other people like me who love to run. We love to play, and speed our bodies around town or country. It's a club where, even though I'm 61, and I don't wear Lululemon, and I don't go that fast ... when I pass a runner in Montreal, Toronto, Lisbon, Italy .... Greece ... we give each other the secret nod and let each other know we know. It's a club where I can chat about long run nutrition for at least a half hour to someone I've never met.

And don't forget the bling! When I'm running a race, people I don't know high-five me. "You got this! Oui, Madame!" At the end, I get my lovely medal, and feel great, and that sense of accomplishment fills my heart. I know I've done something. Nothing too controversial, or too demanding, like getting involved with refugee politics, or being a midwife, or trying to change the world. Just a race, one step at a time, one breath at a time, one smile at a time.

A Week In Italy: Summer Retreat 2018

Here are the details of our upcoming Summer Retreat 2018!

[caption id="attachment_668" align="alignleft" width="269"] Our Mountain Hideaway[/caption]

Where?

The venue is in Tuscany, Italy, far up a mountain road, where the Cymbalists bought a piece of land and a ruined shepherd’s house 15 years ago and created a haven. Sleeping accommodation is rustic, either sharing a room or sleeping in a tent. Food is abundant and vegetarian. Our dog Stella will be there to welcome you!

 

[caption id="attachment_675" align="alignright" width="225"] Stella, Hollyhocks, house[/caption]

 

What Do We Do?

Each day we will have a theme to explore and deepen our understanding. We will walk, meditate, rest, discuss, be silent, play, and be together or be alone. Here are our daily themes:

Tuesday's theme is “Meeting and Discovering”.

Wednesday: One word: what would you like to do when you’re here? Our theme today is “Words and Silence”.

Thursday: Today’s theme is “Playtime”. 

Friday’s theme: “The Process”.

Saturday: Sleep late. Free day. Today’s theme: “Joy”. Saturday evening, party!

The theme for Sunday is “Peace”.

Monday’s theme: “Memory”.

[caption id="attachment_667" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Let the light in![/caption]

Come away with us this summer to our magical mountain hideaway, and get energized for the year to come. I promise you won't look back!

Come Away This Summer!

Dear Friends,
I’ve been feeling the winter blues a little lately. I wonder if you have too. My life decisions recently have been huge but difficult. I’ve chosen to walk away from doing what I love, and I’m walking to different things (or running, actually. Literally).
My school is going through some changes - I am no longer offering group classes, except on demand, and I am moving towards individual mentorship, self-directed work, either in person or online! Super interesting and exciting. And I'm finding the time to build a new project that will unfold in a few years. Also exciting. And the present takes care of itself, with a large family, a cafe, and a marathon to run ...
It's so hard for us to take time off, to remove ourselves from our duties – even if those duties are ones we feel with the very deepest parts of ourselves that we MUST do. The tasks that we actually do have to do, time after time. Listening to an adult child. Comforting a small child. Spending time with a teenager who is growing before your eyes. Nurturing your intimate relationships.
Creating change. Working for what is right. Attending births. Writing for peace. Serving food.
And we get tired! And, of course, that’s ok. If you weren’t tired, it would be very clear that you weren’t fulfilling your potential. And not fulfilling your potential is not your way.
But that’s why, when you are tired, you need to reenergize so that you continue to reach your potential. Continue to care for others, to make change, to provide an example, to live well.
I'm really looking forward to the possibility of surrounding myself with strong, active (if a little tired) women - this summer, for a week.

Please make that first step. I am offering you the chance to spend one week in one of the most beautiful spots in the world, away from your work and your duties, surrounded by nature and the amazing people who will make up our group. I want to take care of you, and I will be there to facilitate, to guide, and to be silent when needed. (and my husband will cook...)

The first steps?
Check out the retreat: https://www.mbcdoulaschool.ca/summerbirthretreat.html
Like what you see? Pay the deposit. https://www.mbcdoulaschool.ca/store/p16/Summer_Retreat_%28deposit%29.html
Contact me! Leave a comment and I promise I will get back to you.

Making that first step is the most important thing you can do for yourself, today. I promise you won’t regret it.
With Love and Respect,
Rivka