Birth and Scars

As we grow, we absorb big and small shocks to our bodies and souls. We all know where our physical scars are, and we often assign stories to them. I remember when I was skipping school and the knife chose that day to slice my finger, so I had to get myself stitched up without (I dreamed) my mother finding out. I have a little white line on my finger that tells that story.

Some women have bigger scars, on their skin and their muscles, from birthing their babies. I hear these stories often when I am speaking to women about their birth experiences.

Other women have emotional scars that last for years. These scars have a way of aching and burning during pregnancy and birth. The doula can gently assist the woman when she is feeling these aches and pains. Doulas are not therapists so they do not have to probe, suggest, or hypnotize. What they do is provide a non-judgmental ear, if the woman wants to talk. They let her know that she is not alone, that she has support. They also remind her that there are other women who have traveled the same road and survived.

One of my students is accompanying a woman as I write. The woman has been in labor for most of last night and today. She does have emotional scars, and they are hurting. My student has been with her the whole time, supporting and comforting. And even though my student is a very inexperienced doula, she is still providing the essence of what a birthing woman needs. The expertise, medical know-how and scientific facts is not the realm of the doula. She is there with other skills: the skill of touch, listening, compassion, and presence.

With our world changing every day; with our experiences and our innate wisdom challenged every single day; with our routines and habits changing minute to minute, we are starting to see between the lines of our lives. We are starting to look between the cracks; to probe between the layers of darkness that we have been hiding behind. We, as women, are starting to see what has been hidden: that birth is a unique act, unique to women; that women's bodies are exquisitely designed for this task; that a woman births best when she is surrounded by a loving circle of care.

It is wonderful if that circle of care can include someone, an elder perhaps. who know about the vagaries of Mother Nature and her cruel jokes. But if not, chances are that everything will work out fine. And that is better than being treated like a child, when you are bringing forth new life.

So I see women and their partners and their communities going about their lives, far from hospitals and Covid regulations. And it makes me sad that with this huge machinery of health care that we as a society couldn't have created a safe and sacred space for women to birth in; but I understand why that isn't possible. Can you imagine what would happen if the power of womanhood was actually unleashed? 

Think about the biggest wave you've ever seen. Think about the most love you've ever felt. And the most beautiful place you've ever been. Imagine what it would be like if women grew babies in their wombs and birthed them with respect, honour, and love. 

Scars have a way of healing. With healing comes change, and growth. Womanhood has been injured and scarred for too long. There's a new era coming, so watch out!

Montreal Doula Training revised schedule

I have been getting lots of positive response about the course, so I have decided to give you all some more details - here below is an outline ... remembering that the best class plans are never followed to the letter!

 Birth Companions Doula Course

a knowledge-based, hands-off approach

Introduction

This course is the first of three levels of the Birth Companions doula program. It includes 24 hours of class time.

When you have completed this level, you will be eligible to accompany clients from the Montreal Birth Companions volunteer doula program, under my mentorship and with a partner doula. Once you have completed three volunteer births, you will be able to proceed to Level Two, after which you will be able to work as a private practice doula.

The course will integrate theory and practice. Shadowing and mentoring may take place throughout.

The only prerequisite is enthusiasm and availability.

Materials

Bring your own experiences, a notebook, your hands and an open heart. We will utilize The Birth Conspiracyas our main reference. The book will be available on or before the first class. The cost is $24.95.

Requirements

To fulfill requirements for Level One, you need to attend all of the classes, if possible. I may ask you to present or prepare assignments, but these will be done within class time. If you are interested in doing an independent project, please speak to me and I will be available for mentorship.

Cost

We are pricing this course to be accessible for as many women as possible. The cost for Level One is $400.00.

Please see the outline below, for the class program. This course will take place at Studio Vie, 5175C, Sherbrooke West, Montreal, H4A 1T5

Class One April 15, 2012, 10am to 1pm

Introductions

“What is a Doula?”

Class Project

Nutrition assignment

Class Two April 22, 2012, 1pm to 4pm

Bare Bones – anatomy

The birth process, cardinal movements

Class Three April 29, 2012, 1pm to 4pm

Questions and Review

The Childbearing Year

Centering Exercise

Class Four May 6, 2012, 10am to 1pm

Nutrition

Breastfeeding

Role playing

Class Five May 13, 2012, 1pm to 5pm*** note this class is a four hour class

Doula Care A to Z, the process, the doula bag

Doula Techniques – alternative ways for coping with the pain of childbirth

Role playing

Class Six May 20, 2012, 1pm to 5pm *** note this class is a four hour class

Common Interventions – Induction, Epidural, C-Section, Episiotomy, Instruments, Exams

Role playing

No class May 27

Class Seven June 3, 2012, 1pm to 5pm *** note this class is a four hour class

Presentations – Nutrition Guides

Review

Birth Blues

I am so excited about the upcoming workshop in Italy. I hope that this will be the beginning of something really special for the women who will be attending.

I have the birth blues today because I have been talking to several women who feel sad about their birth experience, even though they did have a doula with them.

One woman felt that her doula was so against the epidural that she didn't call her until she had already been in labor for almost a day. She was afraid of her doula's anger.

Another woman had a natural birth in a hospital, but she was bullied by the attending nurse the whole time she was actively laboring.

I was at a birth the other day and I felt that my knowledge of the birth process was almost getting in the way. I felt the attending resident was trying to prove how much she knew, and was intimidated by my presence.

The doula needs to be rebirthed. She needs to go back to her original companionable self: the hand-holder, the friendly presence,  the holder, the invisible woman.