Blessings

When I think about blessings, I think about what I've done for so much of my life. I've spent many years of my time on the planet providing birth services (love, care and knowledge) for free. So when I think about it I get sad (because I haven't done enough), and then I get mad (because for a lot of people, it's all about the dollar), then I get happy. Because when we do our work out of love for the other, we are literally changing the world. Love can change the world! Giving love, sacrificing your stuff for another, rains down blessings.

I'd love to change the world...but I don't know what to do.

There's a movement growing: the movement of regulation, of expertise, professionals. If y'all don't conform and waste your time doing paperwork and following the man's rules, then you will get smashed. Smash the patriarchy? Good luck! The patriarchy is busy smashing you, by telling you what to think and believe.

So here's a message to the young doulas and would-be midwives out there: don't get sucked in by the bullshit message that you are a professional. You're not. You are a companion, with hands, heart and kindness, and maybe a smattering of knowledge. You are there to provide comfort, love, warmth, you're there to provide a safe space. Yes, people with money should pay you. But if we let simple companionship become a luxury that's only available for the rich, then we are, quite simply, fucked.

The End of Midwifery

A Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. Guess what guys? The Man won! It's the end of midwifery! Ok, probably not really. There's always movement and change. I guess the brave families who decide to birth at home on their own will engender the new wave of fearless midwives. I hate it when polemics are forced upon you though.

Ok, I will stop speaking in tongues and get to the point.

I can't believe it's been two years since the crackdown. Actually ... yes, two years. In October, 2016, in two Canadian provinces, three women were charged with "practising midwifery without a licence". Also, just under two years that independent midwives in the UK (fully trained and registered as midwives but choosing not to work through the National Health Service) were forced out of work with a legislation that passed in January, 2017 that meant that they needed to find private indemnity insurance in order to take on clients. And in Hungary, professional midwife Agnes Gereb was sentenced to two years in prison for practising midwifery.

Satanic Brain Surgeons?

What does all this mean? Is it similar to a satanic team of brain surgeons who trained at woodworking school and decided to give everyone down-home lobotomies?

Nope. It's a question of what happens with regulations and legislations. It engenders all sorts of divisive tactics and means that the powers that be, i.e. the legislators, have to keep things steady by creating divisions between people.

It was the midwives' associations that took unregistered midwives to court. That same organization was born during the slow process to legalization of midwifery, back when all Canadian midwives were working "illegally": the work itself was deemed illegal. So how could those women have retained their memories of their own actions and still thought it appropriate to condemn others doing the same?

How did The Man win?

Well, it was actually we who lost. We've created an illusory community based on love, trust, love and peace and all that stuff. We talk about safety, honor, respect, inclusivity, but in the end it all disappears in a puff of smoke when push comes to shove. Which it does.

I've travelled the world; created vibrant and useful volunteer organizations (Montreal Birth Companions and WWOOFItalia), and left them; I've been an organic farmer, a midwife, a doula, a teacher. I left that work and now I own and run a small cafe. I'm hiding from the world, I've created a space where at any given time I have a couple of breastfeeding mums sitting n the couch chatting; a lineup of working people getting their lunch; a few retired couples or groups of friends; the constant stream of coffee drinkers working on their laptops. I serve wholesome home made food. I've withdrawn from the birth world, and from the volunteer world, with all of the broken trust and betrayals that both those worlds offer.

What do you mean, betrayals?

I witnessed two NGOs fighting over turf: refugees caught in the middle. Warehouses full of clothing, diapers, and other donated items laying abandoned as not-for-profit enterprises argued over who was to deliver which items where. What levels of insanity are at work here? I was sneaking baby clothes and diapers from the basement of an NGO to take them to a woman in need who wasn't registered with them.

Two volunteer doulas were sexually intimidated, one of them physically, while they were attending the birth of an asylum seeker. Her bible-toting "friend" assaulted one in an elevator and made crude remarks throughout the labor. The response of the aid organization to the complaint? "It's their culture: it's our job to tolerate and teach." What levels of insanity are at work here? Racism: the Nigerian men are all rapists? Sexism: the women's job is to submit and teach by example? Classism: y'all are just volunteers; we are salaried midwives/bureaucrats and our word counts.

I witnessed a 60 year old midwife who was a fully trained professional break down in tears when she read that her government would no longer allow her to practice midwifery. What levels of insanity? Insurance schemes, corporate health care, pitting woman against woman. The end of midwifery.

And on a teensy but frightening personal level, I witnessed a disgruntled doula wreak havoc online by accusing his elders and publicly shaming them.

Culture in Full Decline

We in the affluent world are witnessing a culture in full decline. There are many signs; just look around you. We live in a culture based on fear and suspicion, when there is really very little to fear. The culture abounds with cheap goods made in sweat shops staffed with children who should be in school. The biggest problem of our age is the refugee crisis; xenophobic leaders are being voted in all over the western world because the left has made a caricature of itself. We can buy pot in little plastic child-proof containers; midwifery is tightly regulated; everyone is afraid of each other with no reason; language has been turned inside out. The end of midwifery.

This is where beauty lies.

Real midwives take risks. Real midwives love each other. Real midwives support women. Real midwives can take no for an answer. Real midwives are tolerant. Real midwives know when their skills are not enough. Real midwives are afraid sometimes, but they don't allow their fear to guide them.

For some real midwifery, have a look here, or here. Write to me if you want to know more.

Sending out love on this gibbous moon waning.

Volunteer Conspiracy: making a difference?

I arrived in Thessaloniki to a huge mess. The snow was only about a foot high, but the city was completely paralyzed. And people living in tents or warehouses were suffering, of course, not only from extreme cold but because we couldn't get there to do our work, for about two days. On the third day, the one car we had that was functioning (mine, because I had wisely left it at the bottom of the hill).

We schlepped out to the camp, bearing supplementary food packs (for pregnant, breastfeeding mums or children under two), diapers, and smiles. Our smiles probably looked a bit grim by the time we arrived because on the way, our chains fell off the front tire so we had a little crisis.

The second night I was there, my glasses broke but they were effectively fixed with white electrical tape so I have looked like a bag lady during this whole time, which probably increases my approachability.

We arrived to the news/rumour that the UNCHR was closing the camps, and they started by removing the vulnerable people, including families with pregnant women, babies or children under two. This made the volunteers' jobs much more difficult because we did not know where everyone was, and we did not have "official permission" to visit some of the hotels that people had been relocated to. Apparently. 

More volunteers kept arriving. The apartment became full of wonderful people, all willing and able to lend a hand where it was needed. I lived with thirteen volunteers at different times during my stay in Thessaloniki and worked with six coordinators of various types.

I would like to share with you what I have seen about the people who give up their jobs, family responsibilities, lives and lovers, homes - for even as short a time as two weeks - to live in a crowded, cold, disorganized small apartment with many other people - just so that they can provide support, care and whatever is needed to the people who are stuck here in Greece after fleeing incomprehensible violence and terror.

I met three other women from Canada. Yay Canadians! I love us for our toughness, kindness, "can do!" attitude, knowledge of chains and snow, sense of humour, sense of responsibility ... political savvy.... 

I met two women from America. One from Portugal, two from Spain, one from Wales, seven from England, and more from Italy, France, and Bahrain...

They brought skills! Knowledge of breastfeeding, midwifery, the art of being a doula (the most valuable skill!), women's health, massage, yoga, Arabic, ... they were dedicated. They were authentic. They were sensitive. 

One was a young soul who loved everyone and everything. She brought joy to everyone she met. One was a wise woman who brought peace. One was a chemist who never complained. One Canadian got grease up to her elbows trying to fix the chains in freezing winds on a Greek highway. One was a firefighter, her friend was a midwife - their friendship made us all feel hope in the world. One was 17 days older than me. Two are from another world, a world full of love, kindness, and amazing food. One is an unbelievable organizer, and makes everything better.... one does African dancing on the balcony... 

We got along! We didn't fight! We cooked together, and cleaned sometimes (sorry Molly) ... I think I was probably the biggest bitch there because I can be an awful bitch. But generally, we laughed, we knit, we took care of each other, we listened.

In the end, it wasn't enough. I have a dream. My dream is just starting to become a reality, and I am gestating it. Many of you know me as a person who gets things done. I am going to get this done.