Showing posts with label violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label violence. Show all posts

Monday, February 27, 2017

Pyrrhic Victory

Last night I attended my last birth for a long time, unless one of my special people asks me over to attend her birth - and you know who you are my loves!

I was working in my capacity as a doula - to my utmost capacity - I calmly stood by while the staff dickered around about whether the meconium was thick or light. I kept a grin off my face when the young medical student estimated that the birthing woman, who was clearly very close to pushing, was "progressing nicely" at six centimeters, and I kept calm when five minutes later she started pushing in earnest. I kept the worried look off my face when it appeared that there might be an abruption, and I supported the nurse while she tried to do her job.

I supported the woman, I supported her husband and her mother. I kept my face devoid of grumpy callouts when staff acted unprofessionally. I pandered to the two young doctors, and praised the Big Doctor Man when my client asked me, in front of him, if he was "good". In short, I brown-nosed the way doulas learn to do in our maternity care system.

The doula's job is to support the birthing family, to bring love into the birthing room, to create a safe space.

So imagine my conundrum when the nurse asked my client if she agreed to erythromycin ointment for the baby's eyes. My client didn't know what to say, so she turned to me for support.
I had to think quickly. I could site the most recent statement by the Canadian Pediatric Society, (http://www.cps.ca/en/documents/position/ophthalmia-neonatorum), which suggests eliminating the practice of universal antibiotic prophylaxis for neonatal eye infections (most dangerously caused by gonorrhea or chlamydia), or I could avoid looking like a know-it-all and making the doctor feel like a fool, and simply use a tactic that I had seen him use a few years ago (something about his wife, can't remember the details).

What to do? Think fast! It's three am and your client wants an answer. She then asked me "Did you give it to your kids?".  An honest answer - yes, I did.

Pipes up the honourable physician, to the effect that my client shouldn't be so stupid as to agree to an intervention just because "someone" had it done to her kids, but rather should have it done because "doctors advise it". Um. We were all rendered rather voiceless. Then, again, Dr. A. pipes up: "Will you vaccinate your child?" My client answers that, yes, of course she will.

Intimation being that I wouldn't vaccinate my kids, and would advise my clients not to. So rude! So judgemental! So many unfounded assumptions! So disrespectful of the birth room!

It makes me sad that people that are supposed to be practicing good medicine, and good science, are practicing mediocre medicine, not reading the literature, and showing off their skills at making an older woman feel like shit at three in the morning. Bravo! Physician, heal thyself!



 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Killer Mama

The other day, yesterday in fact, we lit the woodstove for the first time and stayed inside like the two children in the Cat in the Hat and watched the rain. Of course there was laundry and cooking and homework and computer tasks and all that, but when it's pouring outside you do feel like you are just sitting looking. And it did pour, great grey poodles of it.

So when the ten year-old suggested a movie, we adults jumped to it and we all set off to see Spy Kids, even though on one site it had a dismal rating of three. Movies are great! Especially when it's wet and cold, and it's a matinee so you know you aren't spending thirty dollars, if you include a drink (what am I saying - a drink for two people for four dollars?). The warm smell of popcorn, everyone running in without their raingear on yet because it's still October, kids yelling, a young man with his older parents laughing and joking with the cashier. To the movies!

Spykids is about a step-mom who is actually a spy. The step-kids are having trouble with the blended family and ... don't want to spoil it for you. But the most hilarious scenes are at the very beginning, when spy-mom is beating the bad guys, seriously beating them - don't mess with the spy-mom. The thing is, though, that she's about to give birth to the blended baby - product of the new marriage.

This is a bizarre scene presents a beautiful sexy yummy-mummy, dressed in tight leather with belts and things, pregnant and actually in labor, beating off the bad guys with high-powered karate kicks. She says things like "I still have time"   kick, whirl ... "my contractions are still only three minutes apart"... jump, punch, kick, ..."was that my water breaking"?

She leaves the bad guys lying on the ground (kids' movie - they just fall down, no muss, no fuss) and hops into a conveniently waiting ambulance. Next scene, she is rushed into the hospital where she disappears into a room and all you can hear are terrible screams of absolute deathly pain, then whaaaa! A baby!

Oh, dear. I can't begin to unravel the cultural tangle that I observed yesterday in that movie house.I don't know why we are so interested in the image of beautiful women acting aggressively and why we try so hard to silence them in labor. Why don't most women say "My contractions are still only three minutes apart?" 

I do know, though, that I was laughing the loudest when I saw that lovely woman being physical, upright and downright active in labor.