Homophobia in the Eternal City?

The shortest little shorts and the tightest shirts are regularly worn by those endowed with the least fashion sense here in the Eternal City. I always loved the way Italians dressed, but I spent most of my time in Florence, where people used to look like they popped straight out of a renaissance painting. Their faces were beautiful, their teeth absolutely awful, their figures sublime and their fashion sense spot on.

"Froscio!" yelled at someone wearing longer shorts and a regular T-shirt. Is their gaydar so fine tuned they can pick out a gay person out of a crowd of thousands, just from their clothes? Or is it the way they carry themselves?

There are articles all over the internet about how bad homophobia really is in the Bel Paese. Have a look:
https://www.thelocal.it/20170517/italy-one-of-the-worst-countries-in-western-europe-for-gay-rights-report
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/italy-guest-house-no-gays-animals-lgbt-calabria-homophobia-massimo-arcangeli-a7859746.html
https://rgnn.org/2016/02/10/italy-religion-pasta-and-homophobia/

What are the roots of this intolerance? It probably has something to do with the way sexuality is expressed in general. Young women are expected to remain virgins forever, but to dress as sexy as they possibly can. On the beach, smaller than small g-strings can be seen everywhere, but sex education in Italian schools is limited and controversial. My feeling is that Italian men are terribly insecure about their own sexuality: women there seem to have a strange brand of bullying that relies on sexual allure. Italian culture itself is one of facade and appearance, so whoever looks the sexiest must be the sexiest, right? What if the sexiest is taboo; what if the sexiest is a no-no according to the religion of the day?

Speaking of the religion, it appears that some of the bad boys in the Vatican itself have been having fun with gays from elsewhere in Rome: https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/vatican-gay-sex-orgy-12-facts-you-need-to-know. This seems like a fake news fantasy, except that I heard this exact story from a gay man living in Rome.

I remember when I lived in Italy (for 13 years, learned the language, my kids went to school there), people from Canada and elsewhere would always say "Oooh, aren't you always getting hassled by the sex-crazed Italian men?" and honestly, I never once was hassled by anyone. I was slimmer back then, and of course younger looking. I dressed well. I usually had anywhere from one to four small boys either in my arms or hanging on to my clothes, and pretty much everyone I ever met was super respectful and pleasant to me, honoring the mother I represented. Once, an old peasant from down the road asked me if I wanted to "make some minestrone" with him. When I declined he was super embarrassed and probably worrying about what my husband would do to him. Is it true, then, the mother/prostitute dialectic? There are only two women: the mother and the prostitute and everything s/he represents?

Perhaps the homophobic violence is more connected to a generalized xenophobia. Read an interesting article here about how that played out in Elizabethan England. I remember when we lived in our rural paradise in Umbria, we never ever saw a black person, and we knew two brown people; an Indian woman who picked tobacco with us, and an Algerian man (whose name had been modified to "Jesus") who was the right-hand man for the owner of the fattoria down the road. It wasn't like there was a lot of racism; there didn't have to be because there weren't any other races to hate. There were the refugees living in free apartments in town, but they were European, so could be pitied and looked down upon but weren't hated.

Now, there's the generalized unease because of the economic situation in Italy. There's the constant fear of terror attacks. There are more and more immigrants, refugees and asylum seekers entering Italy to get a toe-hold in Europe, and these people are considered to be dangerous and destructive to the fabric of society. Speaking of which, I remember years ago when we opted out of religious education for our six year-old, the priest came to visit us and spoke of the fabric of life in the village and how we were creating a small fistula in that tissue. We persisted and that fistula grew, I suppose. The village is almost dead anyway, because all the young people moved away.

None of this rationalizing, however, makes it any better for the Nigerian who was killed last year for defending his wife, or the constant victimization and harassment of gays and trans people on the streets in Italy. I know, and of course most women know, how it is to be forever on your guard. I am a runner, and I know that many women are harassed almost every time they run. I'm lucky to be less endowed but women with big breasts are a target for stupid remarks and catcalls, and worse, every time they run. The answer? Don't run! If you're gay, don't go to Italy!

NOOOO! Women, go running! Everyone, visit Italy and yell back at those immature xenophobes on their shitty scooters!

https://www.romapride.it/

21 Reasons to Love Rome: A Roman Alphabet

There is no shortage of stuff to do in Rome, ever. You can hang out in your apartment and stare out of the window. You can wander for hours through the streets, stopping here and there for a coffee, a drink or a little something to eat. You can hit the museums. You can go to one of Rome's huge parks. Go for a run along the Tiber! Take a walk at midnight! Take the kids for ice cream at one am! It is a safe city for a woman to travel alone,  obviously respecting your personal safety rules.

Here's a lesson on the Roman alphabet:

Amore: Rome is the city of love. It's chaotic, alive, dark, light, and triumphant.

Bellezza: Rome is the most beautiful city in the world. I love to live in a beautiful place, where I can look out of my window and get an eye massage.

Carciofi alla giudia: One of the classic Roman dishes is this one, and it is scrumptious! Basically, deep-fried artichokes. They come to your table hot and salted, and you pick off the leaves like chips and eat down to the fatty center. Delicious with a cold white wine!

Do Not Drive: Don't drive in Rome! If you are staying in Italy for a while, and landing in Rome, get a taxi into the city and spend your time in Rome without a car. Taxi, streetcar, subway  (the "Metropolitana") and walking are the best ways by far to get around this amazing city. Then head back to the airport, pick up your car, and get on the road!

Eterna: Rome is described as "the eternal city". It is ancient, it is modern. It has survived over the centuries. It has an air about it that is ... well .... eternal. If you love Rome once, you will love her forever.

Foro Romano: My husband spent his teenage years in Rome and he knows every pathway in the centro storico. We were there last summer. First (10:30pm) we ate at a sidewalk restaurant in the Ghetto.

Then he took me for a walk through the streets until we arrived at a spot above the Roman Forum, looking down on the historic ruins. We were not the only people there. There were other couples, and a young woman was there sitting on the wall writing in her journal.

Ghetto: This is the ancient Jewish ghetto of Rome that was created in the 1500's. Walk from the Foro Romano or Campidoglio and head towards the Tiber, and you will find the Teatro Marcello, an ancient Roman theatre where concerts are still held during the summer. Then past the Portico d'Ottavia you will find yourself on a wide pedestrian street filled with restaurants, gift shops and bakeries. Try the Ba'Ghetto restaurant for a late dinner!

Hotels: I've stayed in cheap guest houses, Airbnb's and fancy hotels. I suggest avoiding the Trastevere, because it can stay loud most of the night. My favorite area to stay in is just off the Trastevere, close to Piazza San Cosimato. It's more residential but still fun, and a ten minute walk from the party action if you're so inclined.

Isola Tiberina: My favorite place in Rome! Come to the island in the evening or late afternoon to wander around, have a drink, meet friends, get a gelato with the kids or just walk and people-watch.

Largo di Torre Argentina: Just off the Corso di Vittorio Emmanuelle, a large road lined with shops, is a city block full of Roman ruins. You can walk around and peer through the fence at the four temples that still stand in the middle of Rome. It is also home to a herd of street cats, who lie in the sun and stare out at the tourists from inside the fence!

Menafreghismo: A quality the Romans have that means ... loosely translated ... "couldn't care less". It's not admirable, I guess, but it means that you don't have to feel like you have to live up to expectations...

Navona: Piazza Navona is full of statues, ancient monuments, fountains, cafes and tourists. Go do the tourist! If you start there, you can go in any direction, walk for twenty minutes and you will find another historic spot. But first, sit and have a gelato or a coffee and watch the fountains.

Oligominerale: This may sounds weird, but it is on the label of some mineral waters. Roman tap water is fine to drink but it tastes a little gross. If you are buying water, get the oligominerale. It is good for the digestion.

Pasta: When in Rome, eat carbs. Pasta, pizza, pastries, they are all there for you to enjoy! If you overindulge, head out for a run along the Tiber!

Quirinale: Was a palace built by the Pope in the 16th century. Now it houses a museum where top-notch art exhibitions are shown. Everything from Picasso, back to the Rennaissance and beyond. Tickets are reasonable - 12 Euro for adults and kids are free.

Romani: The Romans are loud, rude, dignified, fun-loving, sexy, well-dressed, warm, homophobic, intense. They love to eat, drink, and socialize. They are thieves, honest, frank, conniving, rich and poor. In short, Romans have many of the best and worst human characteristics.

Sensuality: Rome invades the senses. Your eyes are full of beauty, of the old mixed with the new, of pathos, of colors and textures. Noisy Romans yell, car horns blare, dogs bark, a cannon erupts at noon, tourists laugh, babies cry. You can smell perfume, garbage, urine, fruit, coffee, pasta, wine, garlic. Feel the sun on your face, a light rain, the softness of a new silk scarf. And taste the magic.

Tevere: This beautiful slow-flowing river meanders through Rome. The bridges over it are many and some are very old. On its banks, merchants and restaurants sell food, drinks and clothing all evening until late into the night. In the morning though it is empty and a wonderful place for a run!

Università la Sapienza: Rome's university is world-renowned!

Verità: Truth! The Bocca della Verità is famous as a tourist trap - there is an ancient myth that you cannot tell a lie if you put your hand in the lion's mouth and speak - or the mouth will close.

Zecche Romane: Zecche are ticks! But you won't get Lyme disease from these - it is also the name of the ancient Roman coins.

There's so much more to love: the language, the dogs, the children, the wine, the food, .....