Monday, November 11, 2019

Competition vs Compassion


I had a super fun race last week. It was a 21 k and leading up to it was tough. I ran a half marathon a month ago (Rock'n'Roll Montreal). I didn't have fun, the race organizers were cheap, the route was boring, I was grumpy. No one came down to meet me, greet me, or brunch me. So I decided to get faster for my next one, but I just didn't have time, I had a weight on my shoulders of heavy cares and worries... anyway, I decided to suck it up and last Sunday morning I got up early and headed out to a beautiful spot: Oka National Park.

I got to the race and realized I'd forgotten my earphones! I use music for pleasure, for inspiration, for pace when I'm running. I decided I would take the opportunity to think about things during my race. I divided the 21 k up into 5 k sections and assigned tasks to each section.

First five k: The first five kilometers are tough. I forced myself to be in my body, completely, and to not think; just to feel my body, be conscious of form and breath.

Five to Ten: I allowed myself to think about my writing projects, and to organize things in my head a little. I revisited some thoughts I'd been having about compassion: compassion towards others, and compassion towards oneself. Life has been teaching me that it's important to be grateful for whatever people are capable of doing. Be compassionate, try to see things from their point of view. But recently I've been thinking about applying that to myself: be compassionate towards myself, remember that I am capable of doing what I'm doing. Don't push it. But, if I don't push it, who will? Isn't my goal to be a better person?

Ten to Fifteen: I imagined angels with each step. Angels were flying over to my friend Kimberley's place. She's been my running buddy for a few years, and recently she's been having a struggle with cancer. We're not running together for now, although just a few days before her surgery we went on a lovely 7 k up on the mountain. I digress. Every step produced little angels that I imagined were floating off to Kimberley to do good. I hope they do.

Fifteen to Twenty: was supposed to be Happy Thoughts. I focused on emptying my mind of worries and thinking about fun things. But then, at around kilometer 16, we had a loop back and I passed facing the runners that had been behind me. The 2:30 bunnies were there, good. Also a guy who looked to be about my age. We gave each other a thumbs up. I continued with Happy Thoughts until I realized that Older Dude was gaining on me. By k 18 he was running about three meters behind me. Then two kilometers before the finish line he gained on me and was just about a meter in front of me. I thought to myself, for a microsecond, "Poor old dude, he deserves to get in ahead of me. After all, its not a race..." What??? Yes it is!

At 19 k I started running faster, and faster, until by about 50 meters from the finish line I was well ahead of Older Dude. I crossed the line well ahead of him, happy that I beat him, happy that I sprinted the end of my race.

So, Twenty to Finish Line? Pure, unadulterated competition. It felt good! And, of course, after we picked up our medals, me and Older Dude and his wife shared a high five and a chuckle about how it all went down.

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