Get Physical

I joined the Y about five years ago because our bathroom was so disgusting ... that is, my husband had renovated it but I am very sensitive to the leftover emotions in buildings (ok, so get out your "she's too flaky" signs), and something very bad had happened in that bathroom at some point, and I just couldn't go in it. (We moved and our new house is fine.)

Anyway, back then, I joined the Y. 

I grew up an hour from the Rockies, so all winter was skiing and all summer was hiking. As soon as I was able (too soon in fact, I was only fourteen), I was off in the mountains on my own, hiking and wandering. I am no stranger to physical fitness. When my husband and I were done with trekking through the African continent, we started a farm in Italy where I was his main builder's helper, so I not only took care of four small children and maintained the household, but I also dug in the garden, hoed the potatoes, shovelled out the chicken coop, split wood, carried water from the spring, and hauled cement.

I was no stranger to physical exercise but my years as a suburban mother in a dingy outpost in Montreal had softened me. Just imagine my joy when I discovered that the Y has a running track suspended above the gym, where no one ever goes! I could run to my heart's content, all alone, and get into the zone without having to listen to music, other people, or CNN.

Last year we had a crisis and I decided that the gym membership had to go. It was a luxury. I could easily run outside until it was too cold, and use weights in the basement, and go cross country skiing.

NOT.

By last week, I felt awful. Flabby, tired, sleepy (different from tired), crabby, bitchy (different from crabby). Disillusioned (little voice saying, you are an idiot and you don't really make any difference at all).

I decided to get my membership back. That was three days ago. I went the first day and ran four k. The next day I did a yoga class that was actually not real yoga; it was punishing in its insistence on the core (as if the human body was a nuclear reactor). Then I took a day off. Yesterday I ran again. Since I started exercising again, I keep waking up in the morning. At seven. And wondering why I feel so good. 

So, of course, the answer is that I felt good - feel good - because I was using my physical body. Yes, I would rather be in the garden producing food for my family, or splitting wood that we had just brought in from the forest. But right now that's not happening, so do need to admit that the gym is where I get my exercise (champagne problem, yes, I realize that too)....

Whether we are born naturally, by cesarean section, with or without drugs. Whether our parents loved each other, or not, or even knew each other; whether the act of conception was desired or not, we all came from a home that looked a little bit like this:






We all come from the same elements, the same language of blood and oxygen runs through our veins and arteries.We are pinned to the material world with our bodies. And they are flesh, blood, bones, and muscle. Among other things. And we need to use them, actually we need to test their limits, like a child does, we need to run so hard we get tired. We need to lift things that are too heavy, so that we have to put them down. We need to jump higher.

Ride a bicycle. Go for a walk. Do yoga. Run. Lift weights. Use your body, and your body will be happy.

The Curse of the Black Crow

I had a student a few years ago who was attending births with me, and every one of the first six births she attended ended in a c-section. The sixth time, she ran out of the room and down the hall, convinced she had somehow caused the natural birth to go sideways into the operating room.

A friend of mine was standing in the hall, a family physician with a heart of gold, and she caught my student and looked her in the eye, and told her "You do not have the curse of the black crow!" and proceeded to explain how difficult it is for a care provider to accept that their patient's journey is sometimes not what anyone has planned, and that most of the time it is not the provider's fault.

I was taking care of my sister, who was in the hospital after a difficult surgery and several setbacks which were scary for her and worrying for us. She finally made it out of the grey place and we were sitting talking to the surgeon, who apologized to my sister for the fact that things had been more difficult than expected. When my sister reassured her that she had no feelings of blame, and further that the surgeon wasn't responsible, she replied, "Oh no, but I AM responsible. The buck stops here".

But it doesn't. The attendant has a huge responsibility, indeed, to care for her patient. She needs to do everything she can to facilitate healing, or in the case of childbirth, to carefully observe nature at its task. But if she has given her 100%, she has to know that there is always that element of mystery involved. The buck does not stop with us. We do not know why one woman will have a three hour painless labor, and another one will struggle and strain for two days. Yes, we can read blogs galore about how the happy, accepting woman who is comfortable with her body and open to experience will have a quick and easy birth, and the resentful and complicated one is more likely to have a c-section. But these easy generalizations are not true.

No, we don't know why some women have easier births, or why some surgeries end in easy healing and some don't, or why some treatments work on some people and not on others.

When you really believe that the buck stops with the surgeon, then you are closing a door to the mysteries of healing and the mysteries of life.

First Do No Harm

Why do I feel I have to justify myself when I say that doctors and hospitals are damaging women and babies? I have a little bird on my shoulder that says "Oh, but you don't want to seem like you are against saving lives".

We have some fantastic tools at our disposal now in the field of medical care. We have antibiotics. We have surgery. We have anaesthetics. We have ultrasound. But these tools are being overused and mismanaged.  Women are being hurt and babies are suffering because of our indiscriminate and irresponsible use of methods and materials that should be reserved for special situations.

What are the effects on mothers who want a vaginal birth and come out of the hospital with a scarred uterus? What are the long term effects on her mothering instincts and choices? What are the long term effects of cesarean section birth on newborns? What are the long term effects of epidural medication on newborns? Artificial oxytocin?

What happens when a mother in full labor suddenly becomes quiet and calm because of the pharmaceuticals coursing through her system? How does the baby feel when that happens? Is there a correlation between epidural medication and later drug use? What happens to the part of the brain that responds to addictive substances and behaviours, when the birth process is augmented with artificial oxytocin and opiates?

What happens to a marriage when a man witnesses his wife being treated like an animal? How does that compare to the bonding that takes place when a man sees his wife in full triumphant labor and birth?

What happens to little girls who are born by cesarean section? Are they more likely to birth that way? Is there a cellular memory of the movement through the birth tunnel? What are the long term effects of cesarean section on sexuality throughout a woman's life? Is she more or less likely to be fully orgasmic later into menopause?

Is there a correlation between asthma in children and induction of labor? Is there a correlation between autism and epidurals? What health problems are we seeing that may be connected to our new way of giving birth?

The average cesarean section rate in Canada is conservatively reckoned to be about 20%; higher in some places and lower in others. One in five children are now born surgically. This is a huge scientific experiment that is not controlled, or monitored, or even admitted.

Over 90% of first time mothers in hospitals in Montreal are taking epidural medication.

In spite of recent studies that show the contrary, the majority of women carrying breech babies are delivering by cesarean section.

Forty one weeks is considered standard for induction, Bishop's Score be damned! And if a woman is over forty, she is likely to be induced at 39 weeks.

We need to get these figures down and we need to start examining the effects of our modern tools, methods and materials on the mothers and babies who place their trust in us.

Ibu Robin Lim in Montreal

Midwife or Doctor?

Watch this video of Ibu Robin Lim giving birth with a doctor in attendance, then with a midwife!

Levatrice....With Woman

Six weeks after I gave birth to the second of my five sons, I was driving our ancient old station wagon back home from dropping off my father-in-law at the airport in Pisa. I was happy. We were heading home to our place in the hills above Florence, where we lived in an old stone farmhouse. My husband taught English and was mostly gone in the evenings. I took care of the little ones and tried to speak Italian.

I remember where we were on the road. I suddenly realized, and I turned to my husband, and said: "I want to be a midwife".

I volunteered with St. John's Ambulance when I was thirteen. I learned everything a young girl could about first aid, and I competed in contests, fake blood and all. I volunteered every Sunday at the Grace Hospital - maternity care, 70's style. The moms were in wards, the babies were behind glass, and the dads could watch them from the hallway. My duty was to take each dad to his proper mom, and to distribute evening snack: apple juice and tea biscuits. I loved it: I loved the new babies, the new mommies, the warm, tea biscuity smell of babies, poop, and women's bodies.

I had a butcher-shop experience at that child's birth: unable to understand the language, I turned to victim mode and suffered uncaring doctors, making jokes over my body; a midwife smoking cigarettes; general anaesthetic, and a baby I didn't even see for over 24 hours.

Midwifery seemed like a good idea.

By 1988, I had enrolled in the Apprentice Academics program. This was distance learning, the good old fashioned way. I read the texts, wrote the assignments, followed my guide, and we sent envelopes and packages back and forth acroos the Atlantic.

By 1991, we had four boys and our small mixed organic farm (complete with large stone house to rebuild - just the two of us....with a little help from our Wwoofers - but that's another story); a large garden, chickens, ducks, geese, a vineyard...life was good! But I still dreamed of midwifery and studied my textbooks at night, collected my Birth Gazettes every month from the postman. I wrote a couple of articles....kept in touch with the lovely women at the Farm.

In 1997 life changed and we ended up in Montreal. I was working as a doula and witnessed many births over the years. These were hospital births.

I am a levatrice - this is the antique Italian word for midwife. I don't use the words "midwife" or "sage-femme", because if I did, I could be accused of practising medicine without a license. But I don't practice medicine. I attend women in childbirth.

I am in the final lap of a years-long process that will end with two exams. When I pass them, I will be able to put the letters "CPM" after my name. Certified Professional Midwife. (Update - I passed my skills exam - only my written to go!)

I teach many young women about how to care for a woman when she is giving birth. These women ask me about the best path to midwifery. There is no best path. My path has been long and interesting, and I am blessed to be able to say that I do what I love.

But at the same time, I am nervous every time I go to a woman's birth. I am excited, and honored, and a little afraid, to be taking part in such a powerful event. And so, I am nervous about my exams. I want to pass, but a little voice inside says that maybe I'm not learned enough.

So, this is the card that was shown to me:

Three of Wands (R) - Learn to be receptive to your needs for a new direction - recognize when your talents, skills and efforts are being wasted. There will be resolution after some struggle - but, much work is still needed. The proper balance has not been obtained because you are preoccupied with your "inner" thoughts to the exclusion of outer advantages. You are actually looking away from the power that is available to you. You have become too giving and this allows others to take advantage of you. You need to check everything before moving ahead. A careless approach can ruin everything. You may experience the failure of some project due to "storms" or problems that are greater than you had anticipated.
You are trying to become involved with the environment after a lengthy time of detachment and reflection which has been disturbed by negative memories. You must be alert to the new opportunities that present themselves and use them wisely. Remain open and receptive to new business ventures and partnerships with reputable people. Be willing to operate from a place of integrity as you move forward - assured in your mind that your heart, mind and spirit are in balance and you are clear on how you wish to handle upcoming situations and the important choices you will be making.
There can be flaws that interfere, keeping dramatic progress on the path just out of reach. The desired qualities for this stage may be present in abundance, but for some reason, the project at hand is off target. Check, possibly right project, wrong motivation or right motivation, wrong project. Guard against over optimism and spiritual vanity as you would against pessimism. Guard against complacency as you would against a nomadic restlessness forever more and more.

I would like to send gratitude to everyone who has accompanied me along this path - and also to invite everyone to a huge party when I finally get that CPM. Maybe that's what it's all for....

Birth Companions Doula Course

The next Level One doula course is coming up soon - starting on April 15! This course will give you the skills you need to volunteer with Montreal Birth Companions.

Level One Doula Course

Looking forward to seeing you there!

MBC presents Ibu Robin