Birth Abuse

Birth Abuse. This is a commonly heard term these days in birth circles. What exactly does it mean?

Is it abuse when a woman wants to have a home birth but can't find a midwife because of government regulations, so she ends up compromising on one of the most important decisions in her life, and having her baby in a hospital, lying on her back?

Is it abuse when a woman from another country comes to the hospital in active labor and is spoken to very loudly as if she is a slow-witted child?

Is it abuse when a woman wants to give birth squatting, after a two hour labor, but the doctor insists she lay down, and after the head is born, a shoulder dystocia develops and the doctor pulls so hard on the baby's head that he breaks her collarbone?

Is it abuse when a resident has his hand in a woman's vagina, reaches for the amnihook, and before anyone can say "boo", he breaks her waters?

Is it abuse when a midwife insists that a woman lift her shirt so that she "feels more relaxed" as her baby is being born?

Is it abuse when a doula pushes a woman just a little bit too hard to avoid taking an epidural, and afterwards the woman feels she has been traumatized by the pain?

Is it abuse when a woman is pushing and the doctor stands between her legs and yells at her, demanding to be paid in cash?

Is it abuse when a doctor speaks in a sexual way to a woman who is ecstatic, just after giving birth?

I have witnessed all of these situations, and I believe they all are examples of birth abuse. Yes, some are more shocking than others. Some are definitely in the grey area. But, essentially, abuse in the birth world takes place when there is an absence of respect. Respect is paramount when a baby is being born. The woman who is doing the work of bringing a new life into the world is more deserving of respect than anyone else. But, strangely, in our world, this has been turned on its head. The birthing woman is under everyone else's thumbs, saying "yes" and being a good girl, and agreeing to other people's agendas and priorities.

Is it abuse when a woman goes to the hospital after laboring at home for many hours, and a collective decision is made that this baby needs to be born surgically? NO.

A simple procedure, or surgery, or an interventive test, do not constitute abuse. Abuse takes place when anything is done to a woman against her wishes, or without her agreement. Simple.

Birth abuse is big. Everyone who works with birthing women - doctor, nurse, midwife, doula, anyone - should take a few minutes out of each working day and have a close look at the way they have treated their clients, and if they feel they have not treated the birthing women in their care with the UTMOST respect, then they should make changes.

Birth can be powerful, it can be joyful, it can be frightening and terrible. Birthing women need to be at the centre of everyone's vision so that we can recover an essential balance that we have lost. When women are at the centre of the birthing world, who knows what miracles we will encounter?

Level One Intensive Doula Course

Intensive Level 1 Course!

 

Four Sundays – January 13, 20, 27, and February 3, 2013

Graduates from Levels One and Two are already working as doulas … if you feel you would like to accompany women through the childbearing year, take a few Sundays to spend with us learning doula skills, and more!

Level One gives you the skills to volunteer as a doula with Montreal Birth Companions, or you can go on to learn more doula skills in Level Two, which starts on February 9, 2013.

For a registration form or more info, please leave me a comment below...

Cost $400 (plus tax).

Freedom For Birth (Web version)

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The Power of Love

My husband suddenly said to me the other night, "Remember when you were in labor and you asked the midwife if she thought you could birth vaginally"?
I though back to that afternoon. I was working hard at a VBAC. I was in the birth pool, and fast approaching a milestone in my labor.
"No, I don't remember that. What did she say?"
My husband looked at me. "She said, "No." Just like that. No."

"Well", I said, "that's where I learned midwifery. That's where I learned what NOT to say. That birth and many, many other births where I have been the witness of what NOT to do or say to or with a birthing woman."

Last week we went for a run together. He had a heart attack two months ago and you could not imagine a less likely person to have one ... fit, energetic, athletic, and all that ... anyway it happened, so he is slowly getting back into his exercise routine. He was wearing a heart rate monitor. I was running next to him and he couldn't get his heart beat lower than 140, unless he slowed to a walk. I ran ahead. His heart rate slowed down. I ran back to be next to him. His heart rate speeded up.

I ran a few blocks ahead of him the whole way and he kept his heart rate level. That means ... like the Kinks song - "you make my heart sing..." which is nice, after thirty years.




But it also means, as described so beautifully in the Secret Teachings of Plants, that the heart itself produces messages and hormones that we still do not understand.


And that's where the presence of a doula makes such a difference to the birthing woman. Because she understands that there are reasons for and reasons why that we cannot understand. She sees that most of the time - not all, but most - the body, mind and soul work perfectly well together - or as perfectly as we are used to, which ends up being that raggle-taggle, patched together, immensely beautiful way we call being alive. She sees that a woman who is left alone, within a bubble of her own labor, surrounded by people who love her - and this does not exclude the attending physician, if that is what she desires - will bring forth a child in her own sweet time, using whatever means we understand or do not understand.


And that is also why we have to be so careful when we are attending a birthing woman. Careful with our words, with our bodies, with our thoughts and emotions. Because who knows how sensitive she is to the slightest nuance? And who know how your own heart is acting? What are you communicating to the birthing woman under the surface of your public presence?

Breathe Together

I have had some feedback about the title of my book. Several reviewers have given it "five stars", but have had doubts about reading it because they thought it would be an angry, polemical work about the horror of hospitals and the saintliness of doulas.

And it isn't.

I have a holistic world view, which means that I believe that there is a place for most types of activities and interventions, within very strict limitations. A 90% epidural rate for first-time mothers is just plain wrong. 90% of all first time mothers do not want an epidural, although certainly some do. And very few first-time mothers actually need pain medication. If and when they do, an epidural is a very effective tool that can provide exactly what the doctor ordered.

Cesarean sections are also very, very useful tools. Surgery can save a baby's or a mother's life. But one quarter of mothers and babies in North America are not in danger of dying during childbirth, adn so we see that this tool as well is overused.

We have come to believe that the overuse of these tools is necessary. Women are afraid of pain, men are afraid of birth, and children are being born into bright lights, machines, masked humans, and a mother nowhere in sight.

Here is a little explanation of my use of the word "conspiracy":

The root of “conspiracy” comes from the Latin conspirare, from con- “together with” and -spirare “breathe.” My hope is that just as women instinctively know how to breathe through their contractions, we will realize that we all know how to breathe together. Whether we are in a hospital, a birthing center, or at home, when all of us: physicians, nurses, midwives, obstetricians, doulas, birthing women, partners and, of course, the baby, are working as one in the birthing room, then the birth experience will provide a better start for the new family. When the birthing woman and her child, and not a machine or a chart, or a schedule or an agenda, are the center of our attention, then no matter what the outcome, the new mother will feel better about her experience and will be better able to care for her child. When we simplify our approach to birth, we will see that birth is simple.

War on Women

My heart is with the women of Goma.

Rebel soldiers captured the town of Goma yesterday morning, while the UN and the world stood and watched.The country's army can do little against the rebels, and the UN soldiers do not have a mandate to strike against them, so they are now in control of the airport and much of the town, according to news from the area. They are moving towards Bukavu today.

Why do we care?

Here are some statistics from the website of the Panzi Hospital, which opened in 1999 in Bukavu, 100 km south of Goma. Dr Denis Mukwege founded the hospital, as a response to a growing number of sexual violence victims in the area. He is still the medical director, and the hospital specializes in gynecological surgery for fistula and for vaginal reconstruction following violent rape. They also provide treatment and support for women suffering the effects of these attacks.

• It is estimated that there are over 200,000 surviving rape victims living in the Democratic Republic of the Congo today.
• From 2006 to 2007, an estimated 1,100 women were raped EVERY DAY.
• Today, it is estimated that 36 women and children are raped daily.

On October 25, 2012, four gunmen attacked Mukwege's home, killing his guard. They fired bullets at Mukwege as well, who avoided them by dropping to the floor.^[2] After the assassination attempt, Mukwege fled to Brussels and the Panzi unit reported that [his] absence has had an “overwhelming effect” on daily operations at the unit.^[3]

Four women are raped every five minutes in the Democratic Republic of Congo, according to a study done in May 2011 by three researchers, including SUNY’s Tia Palermo. “These nationwide estimates of the incidence of rape are 26 times higher than the 15,000 conflict-related cases confirmed by the United Nations for the DRC in 2010,” says Palermo. The level of sexualized violence has received an intense amount of international focus, which has revealed the varied kinds of horrors soldiers have perpetrated against women, even while the country maintains the highest number of U.N. peacekeeping forces in the world. (see here)

As the fighting escalates, families are fleeing from Goma, but they have nowhere to run. There are five DP camps in the surrounding areas and these are full. Families are being separated. Pregnant women are still giving birth, and if a woman survives a gang rape there is a good chance she will have conceived and will give birth. Where are these women to birth and who will attend them?

Montreal Birth Companions doulas have accompanied women from Congo and other countries who have suffered rape and violence at the hands of "freedom fighters" who use rape and sexual coercion as part of their arsenal. These women are strong, and we are honored to accompany them as they give birth. But these are the lucky ones, who have made it to a more peaceful home. Thousands, if not millions, if not billions (One Billion Rising) of women are being raped, beaten and murdered, even as I sit in my comfortable warm living room and write these words.

Please help in any way that you can. Spread the word about this conflict. Donate money to charities that are working on the ground to assist women and children:

Pennies for Panzi is a campaign that is raising money to create a daycare where children of rape survivors can be cared for while their mothers are healing.

Heal Africa provides assistance for women and children in Congo.

Medica Mondiale "supports traumatized women and girls in war and crisis zones."

Safe World for Women is a UK based charity.

This winter season, have a party, do some dancing, and ask your guests to donate money to a worthy cause. If you are a medical professional, consider going to a war-torn country to donate your skills. If you own a company, perhaps you can make a larger donation or donate materials.


Remember how lucky you are.