Birth and Beyond 2012

Birth and Beyond 2012 Having my AM coffee

Wow!!!! What a ride, these past few months!!

I had such a lovely train ride to London, Ontario. I like riding the slow train, and the Ontario coutryside is beautiful, and I enjoyed hearing the announcements in good English and lousy French (petty but true).
But I only took the train because I was scared to fly - so much unexpected stuff had happened in my life - in Italy the car was totalled, no details available, involved a 20 year old offspring (mine). But we were in Bali at the time so we got that text you never want to get:  "covered with blood car totalled please call".

Then my father died.

And its kind of like when a baby is planning on being born. You know its going to happen, and you have an approximate date, but you don't know exactly when, and when it does its a shock.

So I had a crazy solo trip from up on top of my mountain, which is a place of peace and air and refuge.









Down the mountain in the ramshackle little Fiat. Train to Florence, then Rome, on the plane. Sitting next to a lovely young couple who had just spent their week vacation in Rome - they were in love! And it's good they were sitting next to a birth attendant, because I don't think any old middle-aged woman would have been so comfortable with their seriously heavy petting!

I spent time with my family, trying to figure out how to properly say goodbye to an atheist scientist. We did a good job, and we all felt very lonely by the end....then it was the Jewish high holidays, they are called high because they are the most important festivals of the year, a time of introspection, taking stock, making peace with one another. I got back to my house in Montreal and discovered that my former partner is ill. Then a lovely volunteer I worked with in Bali passed away unexpectedly...

It was in the middle of the holidays that I had a wonderful opportunity to speak at the Birth and Beyond Conference. The conference was great - it was the first annual and for a new project it was very well attended. I am really looking forward to next year! We had the opportunity to listen to, and interact with, many wonderful people in the birth world including James McKenna, Robbie Davis-Floyd, Jodi Hall, and many others. The intimacy of the conference was lovely - everyone mingled and branched out. There was a wonderful art exhibition as well, and a drumming circle...please register for next year so that I can meet up with you all!

Upon my return, my husband's heart decided to act up. Not for lack of love. He is still in love, and gets love in return from me and my five sons. He is very active, eats well, is young (five years younger than me, anyway!). But his genes didn't tell him that he had some issues, and boom!

We are ok now, and thinking about some changes in our lives...

I posted a status update on my birthday this year - August 21, my father died on the 19th. I asked you all to give your loved ones some loving. Do it now.

Fall 2012

Autumn Leaves

So much has happened since the summer months - its hard to imagine that it's only been four months since I was preparing for my trip to Bali.

Yayasan Bumi Sehat is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Please have a look at their website, and make a donation if you can. I will be holding a fundraiser here in Montreal in the near future, and I plan to blog more about my experiences there over the next few months. In short, Bali is a wonderful place, and the Bumi Sehat clinic is next to its heart.

After my too-short stay in Bali, we traveled up to our hideaway in Italy, where we are slowly fixing up a pile of rocks we call our sometimes home. Our place on the mountain  started as a family project, on an isolated track off the beaten path in the mountains of Italy. Families grow and change, but the building, clearing, hiking and mushrooming stays the same. This past summer, we had a lot of work to do to repair the damage done by 2011's harsh winter. We finally got it all fixed up and we settled in to relax a little...

Back in Canada, several family events led me to realize that we are being invited, when we come into this reality, to take part in a magical mystery tour. The most important thing is to be kind to the ones around you. Show the people you love that you love them, each and every day. Don't take anything for granted. Thank you, I love you, and I'm sorry are important  phrases. Don't forget to use them.

More exciting news for the fall: Levels One and Two of the Birth Companions Doula Course are starting this weekend at Studio Vie. Visit my site and have a look at what's offered.

I am taking on more doula clients for the fall, as well as guiding women through the maze of birthing choices here in the city. I am always struggling to keep our wonderful volunteer organization afloat - if you are feeling generous and want to contribute to this very worthy cause, please visit Montreal Birth Companions.

Advice for 2012?

Be gentle with others. That includes birthing women and newborns.

Love each other.

Birth is Political

Like everything else. Birth is political.

I am on the train right now going through lovely Ontario, on my way to a conference. I will be presenting two workshops tomorrow. One is for birth attendants, exploring the ways we can assist women to have natural births in the hospital setting. One is for anyone who is interested in setting up and maintaining a volunteer doula program, on zero funding (Montreal Birth Companions has been going for close to ten years now, and we have assisted up to 100 women a year).

The conference has been the subject of some controversy because of one of the speakers. Emotions and opinions are strong and heated.  Everyone believes they know best. Best for the woman, best for her baby, her family, and the world at large.

I, too, believe that my opinions count. I believe women's bodies are made to give birth, that most women can retrieve their physical knowledge of how to birth, and that if well nourished women are given the right kind of care and a safe space in which to do it, they can usually give birth to healthy babies without much problem. I believe the physiologic need for surgical intervention should probably hover around 2 to 5 per cent, for women who have had good prenatal care. Our present rate of 25 to 30 per cent is a crying shame.

But I also know that my opinions are hotly argued against by others who consider themselves more educated, more scientific, and more knowledgeable.They may even consider my opinions to be dangerous. Or, indeed, inconsequential.

Most of my activities don't rock any boat. When I sit quietly in a hospital room and surround a laboring woman with love, and watch closely as the doctor, acting in good faith and confidence, persuades her to take an unnecessary epidural, or a needless induction, I am being a good citizen.

When I coordinate a volunteer doula for a refugee from Somalia who has been circumcised, and who wants to have a natural birth, I am just rocking the boat gently enough that the passengers will feel comfy and slightly sleepy.

When I suggest to a woman who has not been able to obtain a registered midwife, and who doesn't want to give birth in a hospital, no matter how friendly it may be, that she look around for an unregistered, "illegal" midwife, then I am starting to make some small waves, but still not even good enough for decent boogie-boarding.

Let's try to sail together into the future, taking the waves as they come, breathing together...

Oh! my metaphor is hitting shoals - of course - who is the captain? The right answer is: the captain of the Birth Boat is the woman who is laboring and giving birth. She is the one we are attending. We are the ones with the knowledge and we can use it wisely and quietly, without scaring her as she works at bringing her baby into the world.

The root of "radical" is "root". We are trying to discover the root of the problem, we would like to root it out, to make a fresh start in the world of birth, and in the world.

Come visit me at the Radical Doula site:

Rivka

Scrambled

What is happening? Birth is as always, good. Death is coming up in strange corners. Yesterday we started Levels One and Two (places still available, by the way) of the Birth Companions doula course, and not just one but two students burst into tears, at different points in the class. I'm not that mean to my students!

Life is turning faster and faster.

I have been through a car accident, a death in the family, a dear friend's death, disturbing news about another colleague, and all in the past month?

I am okay though, sending gratitude and thanks - thanks for my family, my husband and all the goodness that is continually bestowed upon me.

But every so often, I break down, and yesterday when my innocent husband decided to tear down the ivy that was plugging the gutters, I couldn't take it. Those poor vines! I couldn't stand the noise of them coming off the walls. Now they sit, in sad piles on the driveway.

We do not know how connected we are, either to each other or to the world around us. Let's carry our baskets gently, and be kind to each other.

Birth Companions Doula Course: One, Two, Three

Level One of our Birth Companions Doula Course spring 2012 session was a wonderful success! The students are already attending births, either with partners or with mentor doulas. They are now part of Montreal Birth Companions, and it has been a busy and productive summer.

Level Two will be starting on September 9, 2012, at Studio Vie. It will run for eight weeks, with three hour classes every Sunday. In Level Two, we will explore the challenges that can occur during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period, and discover the ways a doula can facilitate healing. This level is open to anyone who has completed a doula training.


Level Three will be comprised of a select group who will travel together to Cuba, to explore in depth an aspect of maternity care and will tour the facilities at a Cuban hospital and meet the midwives.


Level One will be starting in the fall of 2012, as soon as we have full registration. We have registrants already, so please register as soon as you can. See below for registration details.

Hoping to see you all in the fall!!

Hope the Voyage is a Long One

Ithaka

As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

©C.P. Cavafy, Collected Poems.Translated by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard. Edited by George Savidis.Revised Edition. Princeton University Press, 1992

Fast and Furious

Honda Scoopy

I have to ride my scooter to the clinic from my house. The road is busy with scooters, cars and trucks and it is not a pleasant walk. I could make my way through the rice fields but I want to get to the clinic in the morning without muddy feet and a wet skirt, so I decided to rent a scooter.

I've been driving a car since I was sixteen and I am confident driving anything with four or more wheels. But this was a new experience! The balance is different - with a car you just sit there. On a scooter you are balanced on two wheels. You feel more vulnerable on the road too - even though the drivers in Bali are the most courteous I've seen.

But I get on my bike in the morning and I think about the women I will be caring for, some of whom travel for an hour or two on the back of a scooter to come to the clinic in labor. I think about the young mothers who are starting the journey towards motherhood for the first time, or the ones who had their first baby by cesarean section, or the ones who lost a child. I imagine the fears they are facing when they come to the clinic to give birth, and I think about the risks inherent in just being alive in a small village here.

And I think to myself - ride your bike...keep your head held high and don't be afraid, even when a large truck full of pigs or bamboo posts passes you too close on that narrow road. I know its a small hurdle compared to the daily hurdles that the women I attend jump over, but it has helped me to put things in perspective.

Can't you see me on a Harley???