Five Reasons to JUST SAY NO

Yes, it is possible to JUST SAY NO. But why would you want to?

Here are five good reasons why we, as humans who want to achieve and maintain sanity, should learn the delicate art of saying no. I'm not talking here about those times when, obviously, you're not going to say "Oh, yes, for sure, that sounds like a great idea!" Like when someone suggests you have another drink when you've had enough, or when someone in anger suggests you go jump off a cliff.

No, I'm talking about those occasions when it is in your best interest to say no. When, yes, you could say yes, if you juggle around your schedule, self-esteem, people in your life, your alone time, work, sleep, or just plain your own moral compass. Yeah, you could say yes.

But here are my favourite five reasons to JUST SAY NO:

1. If you don't want to do something. It might be fun, but you just don't want to do it. You might feel that the person who wants you to do it will be hurt, or angry, or lonely. Then your squirrel mind starts suggesting other options: really angry, or suicidal, or depressed for three months. But anyway, don't do it. Just say no. One of my friends has been wanting me to visit forever. It's just too complicated to make it work. I'm sorry but ... no. Just no.

2. If you need to spend time by yourself. It is important that we recognize how alone we are. Like, I mean existentially alone. You were born alone (unless you were one half of a Siamese twin) and you will die alone. That's just the way it is. And it is really important to make sure that you have time to spend alone. So, sometimes, you have to say no. No, I am fine just doing my long run on my own this week. I need the two, three or four hours to sort out my shit. Ya, we can run together next week.

3. If you are trying to beat an addiction. Obviously. The only way to do that is to JUST SAY NO. Frankie knew that.

4. If you need healing. You have to stop the bombardment of everything so you can have some time to sort stuff out for yourself, every once in a while. Otherwise you will become a spinning plate amongst many other spinning plates. Nope, I do not want to be part of your women's circle. No, I don't want to bare my deepest secrets to y'all. Nope, I am not doing volunteer work any more, sadly. Sorry guys, this event is cancelled.

5. If you have to avoid something because, even if you want to do it, it will hurt you. Damn, this is the hardest one!! You have an injury? You can't race your half marathon! You're a great midwife but you're not allowed to work? Hey, sorry, you can't go to births! You want to eat chocolate but it's bad for you? Sucks to be you!

And when should you JUST SAY YES?

1. When you want to.


2. Anything to do with love.


3. When your heart tells you to.


4. If the choice is something a little scary but extremely rewarding.


5. If you're already doing something, like running a marathon, and every part of you is trying to say no, but you need to JUST SAY YES so that you can complete it.